Hmmm. So I'm okay now. The
manic part of me has
subsided and I fell pretty certain of where I'm going and how I'll manage it. And you dug your own
grave by telling me what you expected. Ha! You will not be given advanced notice on when I decide to settle in with you. I never said
settle down, did I? Just expect visits for a while. And if you're not there when I come up, that's fine. I can certainly take care of myself. As well as you think you know me, it's funny that you see me as
predictable and possibly
reliant on you.
But I've just calmed the fuck down, and come to realize this is my time to enjoy myself. Hey, when the cat lives five states away, the mouse will play.
On a general note, making mad art. Really do have a series started and have discovered the cheap joys of guache.
I think I've made the first real friend who's a girl down here in the Clearwater area. Yeah, had a problem with a few girls I really just wanted to be friends with, who came onto me. Which shocked me, because I'm really not used to that kind of attention. I'm very much used to being one of the girls next door. I'm not used to being hit on at all, by guys or girls, so it's weird. But this chickie's birthday is Friday and she asked me to her party. I'm psyched.
Spent some time with the ex again tonight. Talk about a hypochondriac, I can hardly stand it. And I'm trying not to think that I was baiting him. Okay, maybe I did give him a hard time.
I exchanged numbers with this guy who has the same birthday as I do tonight. A character, let me tell you. This annoyed the ex, as he was very jealous of my knowing him when we were seeing each other. I don't care. Yet again, too many similarities between us. Who says astrology doesn't work? Ryan's interesting, and I think he knows my situation, so I'm not on the defensive. He's a writer, of course, and a graphic artist, so we would have alot to learn from one another. I'm always interested in getting to know what other people who share my birthday are like. I know the capabilties of these people, and myself, really. I just hope he's respectful.
Anyway, enough of this diary shit, I have more concrete things to write about. I think...