Whenever people talk about
arranged marriages, it provides an avenue for people to express their lack of understanding. Being an American-born
Indian,
East Indian that is, I had an outsider's prospective when I last visited
India in December 2000.
Not only is the arranged marriage an institution common to Hindu culture, it is also prominent in Muslim culture throughout the subcontinent. But what most people fail to realize is that it is an institution that is very well suited to the culture of India. Being born and raised in the USA, I am so far removed from the culture of India that I would never be comfortable or even want to have an arranged marriage. However, if you talk to the typical Indian teenager, their concept of marriage immediately referrs to when their parents will find them a suitor. The concept of a love marriage to them is as foreign as the concept of arranged marriage is to the rest of us.
Being 20, and having a sister who is 21, being in India was not the most fun. There was continuous nagging about when we are going to be getting married, and if they wanted us to have them actively persuing potential mates. My sister and I exchanged many sarcastic looks between us when we were in the midst of these family conversations. Luckily, my parents, after spending almost half their lives in the USA, realized that my sister and I are not so Indian to want an arranged marriage. But that is no reason why the Indians shouldn't continue to do it.
The cultural differences between the west and India is clearly seen with the way boys and girls act towards one another. There is hardly any mingling of the sexes in schools or in friend circles. Dating would be really difficult there, because people act like they're 13 all the time. They are nervous speaking to the opposite sex well into their late teens. Without arranged marriage, there would be very little marriage in India at all.
With every thought of India that is in my head, there is not a day that goes by where I thank God I was born in America. Not to look down on India or anything, but I am so far removed from the culture that I can not relate to it. Growing up with exposure to a culture is different than growing up in it. The fact of the matter is that arranged marriages are there to stay. I'm just glad that I will have absolutely nothing to do with it.