I had a girlfriend. I was happy with her. It lasted for six and a half years, which depending on your point of reference is either nothing to bother with, or a whole lot of time. To me it felt like all my life.

We had plans, marriage was right around the corner. After that; a big house by the sea, beautiful talented children (she wanted someone with musical abilities and possibly a nobel prize winner, I wanted someone who'd get a well paid job playing either football or hockey, we decided on three kids) and co-authoring of the fantasy novel that would finally put Tolkien to rest. You know, reach for the stars and you'll make it to the top of mountains.

Then she got tired of me. Her feelings withered and an encounter with a charming arab, claiming to be french, triggered the whole mess. She needed to think, she needed time by herself. She needed to feel single and young again. For two weeks she changed her mind daily. On one day she woud say "I'm yours, now and forever", the next day she would say "I need to go visit the other man". This was a stressful time. I couldn't start coping since every other day it felt like this was a temporary thing that would blow over in a few weeks.

It didn't. After two weeks separated she put an end to it. All our common friends, who didn't want to take sides, took her side. I don't know if they tried to cheer me up, but everything they said made it hurt even more. "Off course I understand that you're sad, but you really shouldn't put any trust into promises made by people". "Yeah, it's definitely over, you should get on with your life". "Go find yourself a young, pretty and blond girl to make her jealous".

To me it mattered that we were engaged to be married. To me that meant something. I was not ready to go on. Noone of my friends understood me. How could they? Older they might be, but experience of these things they lacked. I needed to find someone with a similar experience and hear what he or she did in my situation. I found E2.

If you've ever had any sort of experience you can be sure to find at least two more at E2 who've had at least something similar happen to them. During my browsing I found This too shall pass. That was a start. I put All Things Must Pass on constant repeat and continued to learn of the experiences of others. I read stories of love lost, love found, missing love and loving love. I learned that while it'll never be the same again, it might get better.

The day after I felt empty, exhausted. But I didn't need to cry anymore. I had been crying every day for two weeks and I didn't need to cry anymore. To some people two weeks of crying will not seem like that much. But for me it was. Since I stopped crying due to physical trauma I've cried exactly twice. One time when I bid my farewells to a grandfather with terminal cancer, one time when my mother accused me of only wanting something to play with for a while when I had found the love of my life. Crying for two weeks was a big deal to me.

I haven't needed to cry since my night with E2 and All Things Must Pass.