October 18, 2007

You seem to be doing a great job by yourself so far. Granted, there are days that are frustrating and you just want to give up, but in general, it seems to me you have a solid handle on things. I was at first afraid it was going to be much worse without an extra pair of hands to help, but it seems with experience, you've gotten much better.

Of course, he may be a little easier to take care of as he gets older. That's difficult to know if it's really true though. As kids get older, do we just exchange one set of headaches for another?

Then, when we get old, I guess it would be our turn to become his headaches =D That must be the human condition or something - we take turns taking care of each other.

...

You just called me, asking if I'd use the Garmin SDK to write a route exclusion feature for them. Groan. If it were easy, I'd bet somebody has already done it.

Well, anyway, enough of this chit-chat. I've got to get back to slacking off and fomenting revolution. =)

SLACKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR JOBS!

It's October. It's starting to get cold and I wondered this morning if I could manage to wear a sweater without sweating. I look outside and see blue skies and palm trees and it seems that nothing ever changes here.

But a year ago things were so different. A year ago, I was scared to tell him that I loved him. Now, I'm scared to even talk to him. Given that we live 3000 miles apart now, it's very easy to not talk to him, but some times, there are things that happen or that I see, and no one else in this world would see it as I see it but him. But those days are over, and today I feel it more than anything.

As usual, I couldn't figure out what to wear today. Sweater? No sweater? Long sleeves? What looks good on me? I never know. Ever since he left, it's even harder to get dressed. He used to help me figure out what looked good and what looked bad. Today I tried to remember an outfit that he'd told me looked good... but I can't get past him in my mind, so I end up dressing like it's 1997. I'm sure people have been pointing and laughing at me all day.

I must have gone to class today. The massive doodle I add to has grown significantly today, but I don't really remember adding anything to it. With him in my head, it's hard to do anything beyond the basics. I go to class, sit down and shut up.

Today is just one of those days. Today I am lost. I hope for a better tomorrow.

There is a long line of cars at the stoplight
Most of them are turning right

I am standing next to a light pole, waiting for my ride
Fourth and Pine, one of a thousand tree inspired suburban intersections

The red brake lights line up, inch along,
then spin away

If I watch for an hour
I might become hypnotized
Instead I jump into my friend's Saturn
heading downstream,
silently anonymous.

Ok, the gloves are officially off.

Confused? Let me explain....

I'm running Windows Vista on my laptop. (Please note, I'm resisting the urge to make any Vista jokes, Windows does that enough for me. Damn)
Anyway, I'm using Orange Broadband as my ISP, and its been pretty good so far...

But, over the last, oh, five days, i've been connecting to the internet throught the modem ok, and able to access the iTunes store throgh iTunes, but whenever i try to use IE to browse the internet, it complains off "Not being connected", despite the nice little icons on my taskbar saying that it blatently is, and the fact that in the background, iTunes is downloading Shinedown's album.

In my desperation, I have;

1. resat all of IE's settings
2. reinstalled IE7
3. downloaded firefox
4. screamed just a litte bit
5. and been bounced back and forth between the 'The Tech Guys' and Orange, both of who say its, 'not our problem gov, its Orange/Currys/Gods'

So this is a national service plea. Does anyone have any idea what is going on in my litte machine, and how to make it work.

---

How am I writing this then? Through realplayer, of all things.

Help and Advice So Far.....

1. 2007-10-18 $ (6.7 min) The Debutante says re October 18, 2007: Sheesh! I wish I could help you. My only practical advice is, unfortunately, rather expensive. It's called Apple.
2. 2007-10-18 $ (16.4 hr) XWiz says re October 18, 2007: I don't know if this is any help, or rather the pages it links to in the main body. Aside from that, I have to agree with The Debutante... :)
3. 2007-10-18 (1.7 hr) DonJaime says re October 18, 2007: I had a similar problem which was solved on the "Connections" tab of "Internet Options": the options for automatic dialling have to match what you want, and the LAN settings mustn't get in the way. If you have a connection, checking "never dial" should make it use it. (This information is given without guarantee of fitness for purpose.)

Thanks to all the help offered so far guys and gals, but so far, no luck!
I took the drastic solution of re-installing Windows, so now I'm back to IE. Thanks to DEB, XWiz, and DonJaime for your help and suggestions!!

"I'm never getting married again". Those were the words I spoke when we split and she left. I had made a promise to myself that I would not get married again if the first time did not work. Sadly, it did not work out, and now I was at a point where I was dealing with the fallout. What would it be like to live alone? Would I ever be happy again? Could I survive on my own? She moved out about two months after we decided to end things, and it was at that point that I decided I was not going to get married again. Why would I put myself through what I had been through already? Well, I'm eating those words now. When you find the right person, it's amazing how your whole outlook on life can change.

Around this time every year, I always look back on what happened in the fall of 2005. I realize that it was not meant to be and that true happiness would be found a year later. I don't know how my ex-wife is doing, as we hardly communicate. It's for the best, though, as we have both moved on. I'm in a happy place now with the one I truly believe was meant for me, and we're working on preparing for July 12, 2008, when we get married. Yes, I broke a promise to myself, but I believe it's forgivable in this circumstance. I have not felt this way about anyone in my life like I have her, and it's just truly something I will hold onto forever.