I was toying with some tins of
paint last night, and I was
fortunate enough to discover a brand new primary
colour, which I call Spenglo. Simply take 1 part
white paint, 2 parts
blue, 4
ladybirds and a quart of sulphate of
lime.
Mix together and leave to
congeal for 20 minutes. When you open the lid you'll be
amazed to see a
brand new primary colour unlike anything ever seen before.
The traditional
spectrum used to be R - o - Y - g - B - p - (i.e between
Red and
Yellow we had
Orange. Between
Blue and
Red we had
Purple).
This will now have to be abandoned in favour of the
new colour scheme: R - o - Y - yenglo - SPENGLO - spenoo - B - p -
Green will henceforth be relocated 4 inches to the left and will be 2 shades
darker.
As you can see, the
mixing of Spenglo with
blue or
yellow results in 2 new
secondary colours known as Yenglo and Spenoo.
White, although still attainable by
mixing,
red,
yellow and
blue, will now also come in a new form know as 'White
Lite' which requires
mixing Spenglo with
Red.
The mixing of Spenglo with
secondary colours is inadvisable and will only result in
brown.
The implications for this
discovery are
remarkable. The
artistic world will have to be advised as quickly as possible in order that artists may include the new
colours in future works of
art. It may be that
old masters will need to be updated reflecting this
new and
vibrant colour. It is obvious from looking at the
drab colours involved in a painting such as the
Mona Lisa, that
Da Vinci was in desparate need of this new lease of artistic life, and
paintings such as this must be immediately recoloured.
The
clothing industry has already voiced an interest, indeed the controlling interest in Yenglo is now owned by
Benetton. Negotiation continues regarding Spenoo but I intend to retain the
Copyright for Spenglo in order to license a new range of
Power Rangers, and indeed intend to approach
Quentin Tarantino with regard to a new casting for the remake of
Reservoir Dogs: 'But I don't wanna be Mr Yenglo. I'm being Mr Spenoo.'. Other advantages become apparent in the field of passenger
aircraft. At present, due to the problems faced by
colour-blindness victims, they are unable to fly
planes because the giant sky signs can only be painted in
red and
green, both of which appear as
puce to the unfortunate sufferer. However, new
secondary colours have caused a renaissance in the world of sky signs. The
spokesman for Voices In The Sky(tm) said yesterday 'This a really, like, heavy day, maaaan.'