One of those "I don't normally daylog, but where else can I put this?"
My friend goes to
Tulane. Or rather, went as the case may be. Me, being the genius that I am, didn't pay much attention to the news this weekend until last night. 10 PM darned Fox News...wait...freakout!
So, I called her, and she is fine, and that is good, and I am very happy. On the off-chance that anyone was more
uninformed than me, I posted that she was ok in my
livejournal.
My only reply is from a friend of mine that used to be her friend. They had a conflict (plus the friend from Tulane can get on one's nerves quite easily.) and no longer speak to one another.
For some reason, this prompted her to reply to my livejournal saying she "almost wished" she had actually died. My first impulse was to delete the comment, but now I just don't know what to do.
I will probably just sit here and hurt. I feel like I have been slapped upside the head.
A similar incident happened recently. I was at a friend's party, and a girl who used to be a very good friend of mine was also there. I still consider her a best friend, and thought that I hadn't seen her in a while because she had been working. Not true, I find out.
She didn't want to see me because she had been told by a mutual acquaintance that I was a giant pothead, or something of the sort. I have smoked weed on occasion, but nothing even approaching addiction. Once or twice a month, tops, if that.
Well, said mutual acquaintance is a lying bitch sometimes, so this I am not too surprised at. What did surprise me is that my best friend took her at her words, and let this one statement come between us for the better part of summer break.
This is also a bit shocking, as my best friend is usually an excellent judge of character. I mean, everyone makes mistakes, but this seems like a pretty big one.
It just makes me wonder if this is partly my fault, if somehow I have the sort of character that is capable of doing such a big 180. Granted, I have done that in the past once, but in reality I was faking it (being in love) for a stupid set of stupid reasons. I thought she knew that, I thought she knew my basic character had not changed.
I don't know, it just makes me wonder about myself. And wonder about the high regard I usually hold for other people, particularly my friends.
Maybe this is just some sort of signal that I should go back to school already. (Classes don't start for another week and a half.) I just feel so forlorn, like I need a swingset I can go sit in and kick the sand or woodchips.
On the plus side, the upshot of the hurricane is that it is raining today somewhat heavily, maybe our well will not dry up after all.