You always half-heartedly joke about your
significant other cheating on you.
You never thought it could be true. Or was it just a matter of time?
"You know that thing your were worried about?"
... You mean the thing that I think about all day while you are in your dorm with other guys? Alone?
"Well it finally happened. We didn't go far, I swear."
Dropping.
Down.
Down.
Down.
Further.
Further.
All the way!
I need a cigarette. I have to have a cigarette. Why do I feel this way? I knew it was going to happen...
"Three questions. One, are you mad?"
No.
"Two, Is this going to change us?"
Maybe.
"Three, do you still love me?"
Yes.
Still dropping. I can feel my heart in my toes. My teeth are clinched. This feels unreal. Is there a camera around? This feels like a movie. I can't move. I am frozen.
Cold.
Cold.
Cold.
"What are you thinking?"
Did you go further than you are telling me? How would you feel if I did this to you? Huh? How could this happen? Why... Why? Huh? Why? My hands feel numb. My toes feel numb. I feel numb. Where did I put those cigarettes!?
"Are you there? What are you thinking?"
I feel like I'm in a book. There are no words for what I feel. I can try, but it always comes out as some kind of metaphor about an arrow piercing my heart. Shock has distraught my mind. I can't speak.
I can't go on.
It hurts too bad.
My heart aches.
My body aches.
I must move on, or I might do something I regret. Hmm.
Well, now I know how it feels. Now when I look at happy couples I wonder, will they know this feeling?
Update: Seven days later she leaves you because she is attracted that other person.
Ouch.