Boy, I tell you. Sun and three blue Intel dudes have nothing on these advertising geniuses...

Slogans:

"Eat your fingers off." -- "Finger lickin' good," as originally translated into Chinese.

"Suffer from diarrhea." -- "Turn it loose," as originally translated into Spanish for advertising of Coors. There's a reason why I hate beer...

"Fly naked." -- "Fly in leather," as originally translated into Spanish for advertising of American Airlines' leather first class seats. First class all the way!



Brochures and Newspapers:

"When a passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage tootle him with vigor." -- From a brochure at a Tokyo car rental firm. They rent those cars with the annoying musical horns that play La Cucaracha...

"Come to Juan's Jewelry Shop. We won't screw you too much." -- On cards handed out by a man in front of a jewelry shop in Mexico. At last! A dealer that tells it to you straight!



This one is my absolute favorite. I've held onto it for at least a couple years now, and it still can sometimes double me over in a fit:

"Having freshly taken over the propriety of this notorious house, I am wishful that you remove to me your esteemed costume. Standing among savage scenery, the hotel offers stupendous revelations. There is a French widow (sic) in every bedroom, affording delightful prospects. I give personal look to the interior wants of each guest. Here, you shall be well fed-up and agreeably drunk. Our charges for weekly visitors are scarcely creditable. Peculiar arrangements for gross parties, our motto is ever serve you right!" -- From a European holiday brochure.