i had a dream. it was totally chilling and violent but i would say it was a happy dream and not a nightmare. it was incredibly chilling.
in my dream i was at a BBQ at that jackass Dave Howells parents house which of course is like one of the nicest houses in town because they are super rich. this was before Dave Howell became a necromancer i think because in the dream his hair was cut short and not back in a ponytail like it is now which he thinks makes him look mysterious and wise or some shit but really just makes him look like the guy from Highlander (the TV show not the movie) only a little bit fatter and more diabetic. so anyways everyone is either eating hot dogs off the grill or playing in the swimming pool and their all like "adramalech show us how to do a flip correctly" and i say "i cannot right now my child because i am still in my BATTLE CLOAK." and its true too, everyone is wearing a bathing suit except me because im wearing my cloak. in particular this blonde girl with an awesome rack is looking at me like she really really wants to see my defensive evasion techniques (the flip specifically) but i have bigger things to attend to so i give her a look like "baby just wait".
im holding my staff. and Dave Howell is in the pool in the deep end and he has water in his eyes and hes trying to wipe the water out while he dog paddles like a child and i say "DAVE HOWELL" in a booming voice. "NOW YOU MEET YOUR END." then i cast a powerful conjuring spell and suddenly the pool is full of BULL SHARKS and TIGER SHARKS.
in the dream i chose those two types of sharks because bull sharks can survive in freshwater for long periods of time and tiger sharks are very famous for being aggressive. if i choose nurse sharks or something then the spell would just create a bunch of sharks that would sit at the bottom of the pool looking for crabs, die, then float on the top. the point is that even in my dreams i am very good at strategy and tactics due to my NECROMANCY TRAINING REGIMENT.
a bunch of people are in the water. i help the blonde girl out and she is grabbing on to me because shes so scared and the sharks are going crazy in a BLOOD FRENZY that i have caused them to go into with my spell. Dave Howell gets eaten in like one second because he can hardly defend himself and i laugh at how weak an opponent he turned out to be. then everyone is upset because Daves best friend Trey gets wiped out too and he was pretty cool. (eaten by sharks.) then some guy that is trying to be a hero dives into the pool to fight the sharks and he dies too. he dies of shark bites.
then, as the prophecys foretold, i throw my head back and i sing the demon song that ends the world.
i wake up.
i take this dream as a sign that i will overcome the challenges i face today. at first i decided to take it more literally by doing two things:
#1: i did some research to find out if anyone had come up with any good shark conjuring spells but they hadnt. this one guy in iowa is working on one but he can only get the spirits of dead sharks to haunt a location, not actual sharks to come. i still think even if you did it on land and the shark just thrashed around on the grass it would still be pretty fucking scary.
#2: i checked facebook to see if Dave Howell had made facebook event invitations for a BBQ in the near future. he had not.
for a second i thought about making my own BBQ to trap him at so i bought a keg of MILLER HIGH LIFE (i wont drink it because my BODY IS MY TEMPLE but i want other people to be able to enjoy) and a bunch of kickass meat. then i was gonna invite Dave Howell to the BBQ so i could smite him in front of everyone perhaps by placing a HEX OF DECAY upon him. but then i was like wait screw that i hate Dave Howell and i dont want him at my BBQ so i didnt invite him. anyways the BBQ is on Saturday starting around 1:00 PM so if your in Valdosta, Georgia you can come by if you think your bad enough to roll with this (your not).