Random Memories of Bad Breakups
I was still living in my old apartment, and a christian friend of mine stopped by with a friend of his, a girl from church. She wasn't the most attractive girl I've ever seen, but she seemed nice. I suggested we wander over to the pub next door and have a drink or something to eat. We spent about an hour just chatting about things, world events, computers, the usual.
She seemed very cool. One of those people you enjoy chatting to. Hell, she even enjoyed and appreciated X-Files, unlike some other christians I know who dismiss it as crap and un-godly or something like that. Course, a lot of that is really based on taste and the season that you are watching :)
Anyway, in a strange move, she gave me her number when we parted ways. I don't remember the excuse, but I thought "wow!" As a reclusive geek I don't get a lot of girls giving me their numbers.
I called her a couple of days later and I invited her out for a drink, or maybe a movie, or dinner, I don't remember. It was casual, and only a 'date' by a long stretch (IMHO). Again we had a good time just chatting. The evening ended and we parted ways.
That evening I came home and roomie-wife said that said girl had called, and asked her to turn down the volume on the answering machine before she left a message. When I listened to the message it said that she felt "too close" to me and she didn't like that, it could never work out between us, and please call her if I don't hate her for this. I did, and assured her that I wasn't planning marriage or anything like that, and that I had fun and enjoyed talking to her, and wondered why the heck she was freaking out (side note: She has never had a boyfriend or even kissed a boy before... a sheltered girl to be sure).
After finishing this conversation I invited her out to something (I think this time was the movie and the first time was drinks/dinner). After that (again, a good time was had by all) I walked her back home and said goodnight. This time I stepped up close and as she said something about "I've never kissed anyone before!" I gave her a peck on the cheek. After determining that I wasn't going to rape her right there on her back porch (as her eyes certainly said she thought I was), she scurried into the house.
The next day I came back to not one message on the answering machine but 3! She talked to the end of the time of message that the machine would take and then called back to continue on. The gist of the conversation was something like (with "..." representing conversation that served to fill up the answering machine memory but not have much other impact on my memory):
"I thought a lot about what happened last night and it would never work...
...
I think you're a great guy.
...
I don't think I can talk to you anymore. Please don't call me.
...
I don't think I can handle talking to you, so if you have any respect for me, you will not call me again.
...
Please, if you have any respect for me don't call me.
...
Please don't ever call me again."
Needless to say, I have not called her back, although technically speaking, through her disrespect for me and my feelings, I shouldn't respect her anymore, and I should have called her.