Its amazing how certain things turn out. It is coming up to the first anniversy of my dads death this month, and i just keep reflecting over the last year that i have had.

Yes its been the worst one to date, but things are getting better, and although i miss my dad a great deal i feel that i will be ok. I really do feel for the people that take death badly, to the point of being completly incabable of doing anything until all the hurt goes away, and in some cases it doesn't. But then some people might reflect that being that is a good thing, they open up and let it all out.

And What about the other side of the coin? People who dont say a word. They lock up all that pain in their heart and get on with life, is it a bad thing to do that? to not have an outlet for their sadness? I personally feel that i am a bit of both. Their have been over this year some bad moments for me, and mostly in dream form. I would find i would wake up and these dreams (Which would involve my dad in someway) would disturb me more then just thinking about him when im awake.

Of course the dreams did stop eventually, for which i am very grateful, it means that im moving on (i hope anyway) i also realise that the next couple of weeks are going to be tough, but with the love of my family and my love for them, hopefully it will be ok.

on a sidenote, this is like the first node ive written in a year or so!