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How to Shrink a Head (idea)
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(
idea
)
by
gamache
Fri Oct 27 2000 at 22:07:39
Decapitate
enemy
. If no enemy is present, one may substitute a
sloth
, as they were once
human
. It helps to cut as close as possible to the base of the
neck
.
Carrying the new
trophy
, flee to a
river
.
Make a long, vertical incision from the base of the neck to the crown of the
head
.
Carefully and slowly
peel
off the skin of the head, using a sharp
knife
to separate the skin of face from the facial
bones
. Cast the
skull
and
brains
into a river as a sacrifice to the
Anaconda Spirit
.
Turn skin
inside-out
and carefully scrape off all fatty tissue.
Tie a rope through the top of the head-skin. Immerse the skin into a
pot
of boiling water for up to two hours. Take care not to over-boil, as this will cause the
victim
's
hair
to fall out. Allow to cool.
Thread
a flexible vine around the base of the neck to give it shape. Sew shut the incision and eyelids. Fix lips together with three
bamboo
pegs.
Heat several
pebbles
in a fire. Insert the hot
stones
into the neck-hole.
Whirl
head around by its hair to keep the stones from burning the flesh. This will cause the flesh to shrink.
Repeat above step with progressively smaller stones, using heated
sand
when stones will no longer fit through the neck-hole. Take care to re-
mold
the face into its original shape each time, so the enemy's features do not become
distorted
. This
process
will take approximately 20 hours, and is usually performed in one's
home
village
.
Singe off the fine facial hairs.
Blacken the victim's face with charcoal, so the deceased's
spirit
cannot
haunt
and torment the living.
Hang shrunken head in the
smoke
of a
fire
to dry and cure.
After cooling, rub your trophy to make it
shine
.
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