I used to want everything I was
thirsty, and starving
time was
I lifted my face to the rain and then there were umbrellas and vinyl hats
(it's
Oregon it's not magic, it's Oregon and winter, every day)
I had a
great-aunt (
Irene)
(goodnight)
I had a great-aunt who went crazy
wasn't brutal she said (it was
electroshock) say you were spinning
in a literal rut, a groove, say you sputter the chorus like a warped old 45
(
not a shock it was but a tap on the needle, spinning you forward)
I suffocate myself
(
may break my bones, and words forever hurt me)
I used to suck them in, as
elixirs now I shut them out, as in
rain Broke my own self. An experiment.
I'm a shuddering mouse now,
red-eyed and wary, waiting for
results (and coughing)