This is the oldest I've ever been
I just went back and looked at a past birthday daylog. It's been five years..
Since then I've joined a fraternity, left Chicago, finished school, truly begun practicing martial arts. I found my first true love, lost my first true love, bought my first car. I stood by my best friend as he joined his life to a wonderful woman, consoled my brother when the woman of his dreams walked out of his life, consoled him again when the next woman did the same thing. I sent a sister off to Seattle, sent the other off to Spain, and was there to welcome both of them back home again. I've met some truly cool people.
I can honestly say I've grown much beyond I ever would have thought back in 2002. My sifu has said that we often overestimate what we can do in a year, but greatly underestimate what we can do in five. This is true. I'm much healthier, calmer, more patient, nicer, happier. I dress better, my living space is tidier, I keep better track of the things that are important in my life. I've come to find a friend in my mother, and I've come to love my father as he is. I'm less afraid of meeting people, I'm less afraid to try new things, I'm less afraid of myself. It's okay to laugh and to cry and to miss people when they're gone.
I sent a letter to a dear friend a few weeks ago, for her birthday. I told her that the best present I could think of to give someone so important to me was to remind them how amazing they are. So that is the present I'm giving myself today: I'm spending the day by myself, with myself. I'm not working, I'm not going to hang out online, I'm not even really going to listen to music. Not going to watch movies, though I'm going to read a good bit. Write a good bit. Practice my tai chi, my kung fu forms, my weapons. Meditate. Nap. Eat food that really makes me happy and content instead of junk that my tongue likes. I'm going to be enjoying myself. In joy in myself.
Last year I made the promise to myself that year 25 would be my best ever. I really, truly believe that happened. By far, hands down, bleeding-awesomeness-all-over great. I think last year was better than the four before it put together. It wasn't always easy pursing my goals, sticking to the things I knew I wanted, but my god was it worth it.
Twenty-six will be my best year ever.