It was the start of my second day without
alcohol in my system.
I have managed to screw up several
relationships in the past few months, all the girls said that i drank too much. I work part time in a
bar and this is not good.
Around 5pm the shakes were to much to handle, especially with the stress of all business, I had two
beers to settle down and concentrate better on my work. So far, so good.
At
Midnight I arrive home and watch a
movie and settle into
bed.
Time passes. Darkness. I am still
awake. Everything seems like a
blur. I
fear bedtime because of the
nightmares and the recurring
dreams. I
fear conscienceness because of the
stress and
pressure of daily
life. A couple drinks makes me feel fine but only temporarily, I know later on it'll do more
harm than
good. The girls I meet and hangout with
encourage it but the ones I want to be with
discourage it and have since left.
As I laid down about ready to
drift off into unconscienceness, I felt good knowing that even though i
failed
today, at least I didn't get hammered and that the next
morning would be one where I remembered most of what happened the
night before.