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Maintained By: haqiqat

Don't go there!


A series on dating



It may be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
- Despair.com


I like to think of my life as a carnival, and following this analogy, the women in it are like poorly assembled rides, carnies, scam artists, and rigged games. My current lady is none of these, I'll put that right up front - she's like the enormous stuffed bear that nobody except naive children and drunkards expect to actually win. How I did it is a mystery to me.

But, these are not the stories of the grinning kewpie doll. These are the stories of the balloon pop game with dull darts, and the grinning clown shaking with the DTs, and the rusty bolts that hold together the Puke-o-Tron. Some of the stories are elephant ears and beer tents and conning the attendant to let you into the funhouse even though you are ludicrously too tall. Some of the stories are having your car broken into while you watch helplessly from the top of the creaking Ferris wheel.

Some of them are ugly, some of them are funny, and all of them are true.

Names have been changed to protect the innocent, as well as the guilty. Stories are not listed chronologically, but rather in the order that I feel like writing them. Quotes are as verbatim as I can get them, and no animals except the usual suspects were harmed in the making of these nodes.

 TitlebyType
1 Don't go to North O   e2node
2 Don't go into the basement   e2node
3 Don't go off at half-cock   e2node
4 Don't go out without a coat   e2node
5 Don't go away mad   e2node
6 Don't go overboard   e2node