Everything2 is a collection of user-submitted writings about more or less everything. Spend some time looking around and reading, or learn how to contribute.

Cream of the Cool

What's in a name? The origins of wertperch.

"Wert perch, ma frund!"

Over the years many people have asked me what my username means. They equate it with the fish perch, they ask if I was a fish in a former life. It's a puzzle to everyone, and I've tended to smile mysteriously to myself and say nothing. But at last, the tale can be, must be told.

It was never a nickname, yet it begins, as…

It seems that today is the first day that I'm taking over Cool Man Eddie to create today's node. Greetings, Eddie!

In other news, I want to share something: I was pickpocketed today, someone took my phone out of my pocket during the madness of public transport also known as commuting.

The worst part of it is that it was a brand new phone (barely 3 days old). On the bright side, there was zero violence.

But still, the feeling of anger and impotence are here, and they…

Exhausted. The little turbodiesel in the brainpan has been redlined for days. In fact, I think the turbo dumped a bearing a while back so it's been nothing but dumb, plodding horsies clamped to an overworked transmission.

Faces, names, places, technical specifications, questions on application and deployment, logistics hell, and the pain of cruising shelves where you can't read the packages or even recognize the livery.

Mind made up based…

Cynthia can open doors.

This wouldn't be so bad, except there are many ways to interpret door, and if it worked inside her head, then she could open it.

She opened the locked door to her uncle's car, and then got it to start because a door needs a key to work, just like an ignition does, and this made sense when she was five (though she wouldn't be…