If one has heard the phrase, "You look like crap," then this is when one looks even crappier and, quite often, feels the same way they look, if not worse.

“I’ll tell you what: I may have fucked my life up flatter than hammered shit, but I stand here before you today beholden to no human cocksucker.”
-- Whitney Ellsworth

Alternate spelling: hammered dog shit. I chose the two-word variant because, let's face it, when one is fatigued, such as during chemotherapy, that one keystroke can make a world of difference, both in execution and in the desire to pursue the task.

This colloquialism is most often used to describe someone in the process of becoming shitfaced, is currently shitfaced, or is under the influence of a hangover from getting shitfaced. It should encompass more than that, so I have recently begun using it on my bad days when someone asks me how I'm doing, or how I'm feeling, with the

Duff Beer is an existing, real beer that you can purchase and drink. How do I know? Because I am drinking one nowwwwww! In fact I just popped the tab and am drinking Duff, just so I can fill you in on what Duff tastes like. And feels like.

First: I am in Costa Rica, and The Simpsons has a cultural impact on Latin America that surpasses its pop cultural role in North American, even. Latinos really like the Simpsons. References to the show permeate conversation here. As an

"Bama Bunny and Friends Learn to be American" was a television program that aired in the exclusion zone during the 2050s. Since this was a time when only the three American-run broadcast networks provided entertainment or media to the exclusion zone, it was an almost universally watched television program by the children of the exclusion zone, a point we will return to later.

The show was done in a crude, "retro" style of animation, that combined the century-old