Woke up around five, but laid in bed for a while. Tested out my sore ankle which was good for a short walk. Last night I read a blog post on goal setting. It's simple and effective, yet I rarely set goals. Last night I learned there's a focus and a formula - that helped. It's silly to set goals without a way to track them. I'm new at this, but excited to have this new knowledge. Another thing I'm thrilled about is how my Use What You Have Decorating book has transformed the rooms where I've applied the skill set. I tweaked my living room again, one of the people I'm going to be interviewing studies ergonomics which is a topic that's always fascinated me as most furniture is manufactured for people who are taller than I am.

The blog post says there are four main goal setting areas - relationships, self, health, and wealth. While I've made strides in each category I believe that more specific goals will help. Probably the biggest relationship in my life that would benefit from strategic work is the one I have with Jill and Jane's father. It's also the one I want to work on the least. I'd like to get to a point where I am proactive, realistic, and less sensitive. He owns the house, but I live here. I have time and he's willing to pay for things like paint if I can get it up on the walls. My goal is to define him as a landlord who is also the part time custodian of my children. They're separate intertwined issues that need detangling.

Some of the things I can do are: make a list of everything that needs painting. We also have trim that needs to be replaced, we have a laundry list of handy man projects, I know a guy who might be willing to help, I have to think about what the priorities are, and in what order things should be done. The floors need to be redone, we either need new carpeting or another type of flooring where we currently have carpet. There are holes in the wall that need patching before painting can be done. I'd like to turn the back hall closet into an area where people can hang coats and drop gear before they head into the kitchen, and then there are things like the hot water heater. Is he going to be responsible for that or does he expect me to pay for repairs or a new unit? These things need to be clarified. I'll talk to my therapist about it today.

As far as goals for my self are concerned, I want to be a less fear filled and anxious person. I want to reduce the amount of medication I take, I feel like I'm pretty good about minimizing it, but I want to taper off the sleep meds and reduce the number of vitamins I take. This is tied into health and eventually wealth since spending less there will give me more to save and invest. I like the interviews, those are a good thing in my life right now, but I'd like to be better about who I invite and when I interview people. It's my show, yet I let others dictate when it runs. I invited a partner to help me, I need to be clearer about her role and what I expect from her. I've let fiction and blog post writing slide. I can probably devote an hour each day to both, but I might start out with half an hour and see how much I can get written in that time.

Health goals are pretty clear to me - move more and eat less. My budget is about to shrink - a car payment wasn't anything I planned on, but that's the reality of the situation. I want enough money to go to yoga two to three times a week. I've been a lot better about measuring out my meal portions. This morning I made rice and oatmeal that I put into individual containers. It's a failing to plan thing that gets me most of the time. I want to have easy grab and go portions of carbs, proteins, and fruit. Fat is usually easily combined with either carbs or proteins. I'm good about having a piece of fruit before meals so I'm going to continue that. I need to be better about drinking water, I try to set out a quart jar each day, but that's not enough so I'm thinking of ways to cue myself visually without cluttering up the countertops.

Money is probably the area where I have the most to gain by goal setting. I've made some half hearted attempts in the past, but I lacked clarity and focus. Writing purchases down on a sheet of paper worked well for me. I could see my money dwindling as the month went on, I have books I can read. I would like to devote more reading time to finance, I got rid of the Suze Orman book everyone recommends, but I'm sure the library has it. If not, I see it frequently at thrift stores which is another area I need to tackle. Staying out of the stores will help. I can make lists of what I need, get in, and get out before I go over my budget. I tried taking cash out of the bank each week, I'm going to commit to reading for a certain number of minutes about finance each day, maybe fifteen minutes to start?

Overall I'm thrilled that the guy I'm seeing is so disciplined and hard working. He manages his time well and has a strong sense of responsibility. He's fun and I need that in my life. He wants what is best for me, challenges me, and cares. I have a lot going for me, I just need to fine tune certain areas and work toward goals that are achievable, managable, and measurable. This was an outline of sorts, I need to get more specific about what these goals are and how I'm going to track my progress. Instead of binging and neglecting I would like to work toward a better cycle of work, play, and relaxation. Starting and finishing projects is tough for me, but breaking things down into smaller pieces will help. I want to keep writing, that's good for me and starts my day right. I feel better when I get things out of my head and can start my day without racing thoughts bogging me down.

Back to work, for a couple of days this week at least. Today and Wednesday. Tomorrow I have pre-surgical testing and an appointment with my sleep specialist to get the compliance letter the FAA will want for my third-class medical. So I have to haul my ass out of the house early, ugh.

Thursday I head to Massachusetts for the FAA medical itself on oh-god-early Friday morning. I was optimistically hoping that Thursday afternoon or Friday afternoon would be nice weather, so that I could try to fly again at 7B2 where I trained, but various weather information sources claim it will be heavy clouds and likely rain both days. I'll take my license and medical and headset just in case.

Another user here on E2 has reached out to share their story of success (and, from the info, stellar success) with the vertical sleeve gastrectomy - I'm very very grateful, as their experiences sound like pretty much what I'd hoped for both in terms of results and life-after-procedure. Here's hoping.

I am realizing my house isn't very clean. This is annoying because a) I'm really no good at cleaning and b) I don't know if I'll have time to do it (or have it done) before I go in for surgery. I'll have to figure something out. It's neat, for once, but I haven't scrubbed things in, uh, cough mumble. And I'll need to do laundry before I go in.

Laying in more supplies. Vitaminwater, broth/bouillon, some apple juice, and jello. I've ordered some protein powder. Also some chicken breasts and lean pork chops for the freezer, in the hopes that as I can eat lean protein I'll be able to eat them to reassure myself that my life with food is not over. The E2er who chimed in reminded me that right now, I'm on a diet that is designed to crash-lose fat out of my liver - it's not really a sustainable level of consumption. And that means that even after the surgery, once I've recovered (which may take a few months to fully happen) I'll be able to eat much more than I am now, even if not nearly as much as I can right now were I to choose to do so. They described a diet which basically boiled down to "around 1/3 of what I used to eat, but whatever I want, although avoiding bread/pasta." That's very heartening. It's weird, I've always had a sweet tooth - but being restricted to this sugar-free crap for all my nutrition has made me crave savory something fierce. My one cup a day of salty soup mix is pure treat now. I'm craving simply grilled chicken and pork and beef, no sauces, just protein. Hopefully I can carry that over; I'll be spending weeks eating clear liquids and thin purees, so by the time I can start attempting tiny bites of meat I'll either be overwhelmed with joy to get even that, or I just won't care anymore.

Today, in the mail, I received the formal authorization letter for the surgery from my insurance carrier, so that's good news.

Weight: 319.1

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