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With apologies in advance to Aerosmith

It seems that our esteemed Number 2 man in charge, Vice President Dick Cheney has gotten himself into a little hot water over the past couple of days.

While doing a little quail hunting on a ranch in Texas with some other prominent members of the Republican party, Mr. Cheney, an acknowledged “avid hunter” accidentally let loose with a load of buckshot or birdshot or whatever it is that flies out of the barrel of a gun that peppered long time friend and donor Harry Whittington in the face and upper chest with over 200 pellets. The news didn’t break until a day later and was described as a “minor” accident. A couple of days later, the hospital to which Mr. Whittington had been admitted came forth with the news that he suffered a “minor heart attack” when one of the pellets made its way into his heart.

Questions have arisen in the press about the delay in reporting the event and what actually transpired. I’m not into conspiracy theory but if you were to ask me, I think something fishy is going on. To say that the White House and the Vice President's staff have bungled this entire episode would be a massive understatement.

So far, Mr. Cheney has declined to answer any questions about what happened. That should come as no surprise, Mr. Cheney has declined to hold a press conference on any subject since 2002. He is giving a speech in his home state of Wyoming on Friday in which he purportedly plans to address the issue but won’t be fielding any questions.

Cheney’s Got A Gun

Dumb, dumb, dumb, see here what have you done?
Dumb, dumb, dumb, it's the sound of our guns
Dumb, dumb, dumb, look at what have you done?
Dumb, dumb, dumb, it's the sound, it's the sound...
ow!, ow!, ow!, ow!, ow!, ow!....

Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
Our whole world's come undone
From looking straight at the sun
Who did our VP screw?
What did he put us through?

They say when Cheney was appointed
They found him hidin’ out in a cave
But man, he saw it comin'
Now that Cheney’s got a gun
The whole world it ain’t safe!

Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
The fun has just begun
The whole world's on the run
Tell him now it's untrue
At least he still got the Jews

He bombed a little bitty country
The man has got to be insane
They say the spell that he was under
The terror and the thunder
Were all caused by Saddam Hussein

Go away, go away, back from where you came
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Go away, go away back from where you came
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Go away, go away, go, go away

Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
Our long days have just begun
Now we’re all out on the run
What are we gonna do?
It's Cheney’s last I.O.U.

He had to take them down easy
And give them all subsidies
He said “The oil's gotta flow”
The man was such a sleeze

Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
Cheney’s got a gun
We’re all out on the run

Breaking News

In a stunning development, Mr Cheney seems to have bowed to pressure and agreed to be interviewed today about the matter by that bastion of journalistic integrity, Fox News.

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