Similar in character and effect to the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, this is the caffeinated equivalent to moonshine. It can be added to drinks (alcoholic or otherwise), or even to things such as pancake batter, to give it that extra, um, jolt. It works well as an accompaniment to pot brownies and other recreational substances.


Two bottles of Jolt Cola
One or two caffeine pills (or to taste)
Chocolate flavouring syrup as required. Other flavours known to work include coffee, mint, and pina colada.


Pour the Jolt into a microwave-safe bowl and cover with plastic wrap, leaving a vent for steam to escape.
Microwave (yes, you heard me) the Jolt for five to eight minutes, or until sludgy (I realize that this is a rather subjective term, but use your imagination). Remove Jolt from microwave.

Grind up the caffeine pills and sprinkle a bit at a time into the primordial ooze, stirring constantly until dissolved.

Allow to cool, then add flavouring syrup to taste.

And finally, to quote the late Douglas Adams: "Drink, but very carefully."

Cautionary note (revised 10/31/01): As with scumble and other related beverages, it is not recommended that the Elixir come in contact with metal at any point during distillation or for storage. Use plastic containers only. Don't ask me why; it just does something funny to the taste.

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