(idea) by stash Tue May 21 2002 at 3:50:09
A Happy Death

  • Driving alone on a bridge at night (in a tan Volvo station wagon), I get into an auto accident that seems minor as its happening, just someone rear-ending me and I hitting the car in front. But it's followed by a confusing daydream of pain, lights, sirens. My first real waking moment: riding a medical gurney with paramedics frantically working over me. At first I'm still outside and the night sky above is outshined by traffic lights, but almost instantly (must have blacked out again) the sky becomes the ceiling of a hospital as they rush me to intensive care. Everyone has the most dire looks on their faces as they look down at me. I can empathize for I can hardly feel my body at all, and what I can feels twisted and soft. But mentally I am in the very opposite of a crippled state--like a golden inner light, it is the most blissful euphoria I have ever felt. With death on my shoulder I've reunited with the memory of my own birth-death cycle. I recognize the world for what it is: an endless progression of lifetimes, each with their joys and sorrows, pains and pleasures, slow-deaths and car-maulings. As I look into the faces of the doctors and nurses, I feel a genuine sympathy and compassion for their intense devotion to maintaining the length of a life--but to be honest, I could care less. It's all just a movie to me, and this death is a rather exciting one so it's even more entertaining than usual. I smile up at them all, reassuringly--"Relax and enjoy the Ride."

I like it!

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