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Last night I dreamed about 3 black-haired women who created an evil anti-aging beauty product containing children. One minute they were after me to try to put me into their concoction, and the next they changed their minds and tried to sell me the product. I was very tempted to buy it, but when I met a little boy whose hand had been thrown into the mix, I deemed the entire beauty business evil and had them all arrested. At some point, there was a high-speed car chase.

When I woke up, I was a year older. It was a perfectly pleasant day to turn 24.

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