Tonight I was reading
Boy Meets Girl by
Joshua Harris (the sequel to
I Kissed Dating Goodbye), and I was reading the chapter on dealing with past
sexual sin. Part of that process is understanding
the cross, and that's what I learned tonight.
I've gone to church my whole life, and I've been saved for a year and a half, but until tonight I didn't really believe that God loves me and that my sins really are forgiven. I've probably heard "God loves you" a million times, but it's never been real to me. But God made it real tonight. He showed me that my sins sent Jesus to the cross, that Jesus took my sin on Himself, that I killed Him. But then He showed me that Jesus did that because He loves me, and that it was the only way for me to be redeemed. He showed me that He really does love me, and that was the happiest moment of my life.
This is the best feeling I've ever had. Just knowing that God really does love me is so amazing. I didn't do anything to deserve this, I couldn't do anything to deserve this. He just loves me. I've always known that in my head; tonight I know that in my heart.
"In the soundless awe and
wonder
Words fall short to hope again
How beautiful, how vast Your love is
New forever, world without an end."