Nothing compares to celebrating Halloween as a kid. Most of my family looked down on it as a leftover from heathen times and discouraged trick-or-treating or scary costumes. Then there was my aunt and her mildly rebellious, slightly disorganized Laissez faire attitude. I will always remember her warmly for the one Halloween when my brother and I visited her and decided to celebrate, regardless of what others might think. She had invited a few friends to hang out, and we were anticipating their arrival. My aunt’s friends were always worth meeting. Their stories were a refreshing departure from the old recollections told at extended family gatherings. She was always meeting new people, and I don't remember where she had met the friends who would visit that night.

This is what happens when you put a 12-year old in charge of his younger brother and slightly unpredictable aunt on Halloween night.

As courteous hosts, we wanted to make a reasonable effort to scare the shit out of our visitors when they arrived. I would make the introduction, and my brother and aunt could play supporting roles for our performance. We walked through the house, trying to imagine how and where they would enter, what they would do and where they would be standing. How could we get them to walk through the house exactly as we wanted them to? There were two entrances to the house, one side door and one front door. We were betting on them coming to the front door instead of around the side. Just to be safe, we agreed to all stay in our hiding places and not answer if they knocked on the side door.

Instead of just answering the front door in person, I thought that my ghost would be more appropriate to greet our guests. Luckily, the old house had a coat closet directly opposite of the front door where I could hide. I taped a length of knitting yarn to the back of the door, and left it just slightly ajar. Hiding in the closet, I threaded the yarn under the closet door, so I could pull it away when I heard them knocking. This would give the impression that the door had opened on its own. I practiced it with my aunt and brother watching, so they would know if the illusion was convincing. The magic worked! I taped the string and got working on the next trick.

We agreed that it would be better to fill the house with candles instead of leaving the lamps on. Another advantage of the rambling old house was the big picture window that would give our guests a complete view of the interior as they approached. We set our candles on the tables facing the big three windows, and turned off all the lights.

How could we distract them as they entered the house? We needed some way to throw them off the trail so we could remain hidden until the moment when we would all jump out and spook them. My aunt offered to hide behind an opened door in one of the bedrooms, then topple an ornamental metal bucket to make a hideous racket. My brother planned to coax squeaks and creaks out of a door with another piece of string for creepy sound effects.

The hour approached. All the lights were out. We watched eagerly for one of the passing cars across the long front yard to slow down and turn into the driveway. Finally, the bright beams of our guests' car flooded the living room as they turned, and we all retreated into our hiding spaces.

“Knock knock knock . . .”

We were in luck. Our guests had chosen the front door. I gently pulled on the yarn, feeling it yield as the door swung open. With a tug, I yanked loose the tape and reeled it up quickly before hearing the door hit the stopper with a thud.

“Hello? Are you home?”

I waited in silence, hoping they would make the next move. Nobody opened the closet, and I could hear their footsteps moving to my right as they entered the living room. A few seconds later, and I could clearly hear the clang of a brass bucket crashing on the floor.

“Is that you?”

Our plan was going perfectly. Through the closet door, I heard a “creeeeek” as my brother was playing his part. Soon, we could spring our grand finale. I turned the closet doorknob slowly, preparing to creep out. I was expecting them to be facing down the hall, looking for the source of the two noises. I opened the closet and sneaked out, tiptoeing towards our two guests who were facing away from me. As soon as they were near the back rooms, I let out a “BOOGA BOOGA!” and my aunt an brother were only seconds behind. Our guests spun around, first gasping in surprise and then bursting with laughter.

“Who opened the door?”

“Did you plan all of this just for us?”

We explained our plot and showed them how we prepared their scare. They had outdone us, though. When sneaking up towards them, I was too focused to notice their costumes. The woman was a convincing vampire. Her flowing black cape contrasted perfectly with the eerie pallor of her makeup. She dodged behind the edge of her cape, squinting and saying “I vaaant to suck your blood.” Her boyfriend was masquerading as a mad scientist. Along with his frizzy gray wig and lab coat, he had props to fit his character. He motioned with stainless steel tweezers, beckoning us with “come a bit closer, you are a curious specimen. I must have you for my collection.”

Our guests would not remain long, since they were planning to attend another party. Still, they wanted to stop by if only to share a bit of ghoulish glee. I don't care what anyone says, you can never be too old for Halloween.

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