Lest you didn't hear me the first time, let me repeat:

I am not a fire hydrant!

I'm not a tree or other similar item either and you aren't dogs, so just stop it.

This is a shout out to all you guys (and gals) out there who seem to think that marking your partner during sex or foreplay is a cool thing. It's not cool to me. I will not be marked!

I know it's hard to resist. You're in the heat of the moment and there, right in front of your face, is an expanse of clear skin just begging for your touch. Resist it!

I'm am not your property. If I am yours I will wear your ring and you should be happy for that. But I don't need some reminder of what I've been doing with you inscribed upon my person unless I choose to go get a tattoo. And I won't, so get over it.

That's right. You're not allowed to leave your mark upon my person. No hickies, no bite marks, no bruises. I am not your territory and you aren't dictators or dogs or tom cats so stop trying. If your buddies can't believe you when you say you were with me without your leaving some evidence of your passing, then you need to either stop telling lies or get new friends.

And most of the time, it doesn't feel good, either. Get over it.

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