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"How's this special on aisle 9, you consumerist bastards?" screamed the man on the roof of the store. He racked his shotgun again and blasted a nearby transformer. Sparks rained down on the ring of copcars.

"Put the gun down, and let's talk about this," answered a nervous rookie with a megaphone. The man on the roof, highly visible in his cheap, plastic red vest and casual dress pants, laughed maniacally, spittle escaping his twitching lips. He began throwing footballs, tennis balls, and other sporting gear from aisle 13 at the cops.

The rookie was out of ideas, and the SWAT helicopter could be seen over the sprawl of suburbia. "Just tell us what you want, and we can work this out," he yelled over the sounds of the blades. Wind knocked over his styrofoam cup of coffee from the Dunkin' Donuts nearby.

The helicopter settled into position over the roof of the department store. A sniper took aim, and waiting for a signal. The man on the roof ineffectually threw a baseball at him, yelling, "Price check! Price check!"

The signal came, and the sniper fired. The man spun, gasping, "Cleanup crew to the roof!" He lurched over the edge of the roof, crashing into the K-mart sign, finally turning it off for the night.

Nodeshell rescue, natch.

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