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Slept poorly last night which makes that two in a row. Periodically I think I can get away with eating something I know I should avoid, it never works which should be a reminder for me. I received a follow up email from a company that had reached out to me earlier. The job sounds very much like one I had previously and most likely something I would enjoy. This is really putting the cart before the horse as I haven't interviewed for it yet, but it makes me nervous thinking about how far away it is from where I live. I haven't heard back from the oral surgeon's office which is disappointing. I keep telling myself that the job search process is filled with ups and downs where optimisim and pessimism are locked in a perpetual tug of war

The modem I ordered arrived, I bought a different one than the one we had previously and now the cords don't match up with the new one. I'm not sure if there is a simple fix like buy a new cord or I'll be stuck buying a new one. I really wish I knew more about this kind of thing which is clearly not a strength of mine. Yesterday I took the girls to therapy. After that we went grocery shopping. I called in sick to work because I was up for hours with a throbbing foot and sore throat. My throat hasn't been sore in quite some time. I had forgotten what a completely awful feeling that was. I spent more than I wanted to at the store, but feel pretty good about the expedition overall. 

I read that in order to change your life you have to change your daily routine and habits. For a couple of days I had been in the habit of going for a walk after I woke up, writing a daylog, and going about my day. I slept in yesterday, I think I really needed that extra time in bed. Periodically I push myself which I feel is healthy, but there are times when I find that I've done too much in a short period of time and my body rebels against me. I had a very nice Memorial Day over at my sister's. Yesterday was good too. I'm working on noticing the anxiety, choosing to ride it out, and telling myself that this too shall pass. Today I'm going to apply for more jobs. I need to do this for myself and others. I have a lot to give and it will be good for me to channel my creative energy into something larger than myself.

I'm trying not to be too frustrated with myself and others. I bit my tongue several times when I wanted to correct the girls. I want to get better at praising them instead of being critical which is the way that I was raised. The mower had a loose filter, the oil needs to be changed. Jill and Jane's father has said he will come over and change it. I want to be able to count on him to do what he says he's going to, but I have my doubts. Today my step-dad is going to pick up the trailer. I need my own form of transportation. Being dependent on others makes me feel uneasy, like I can't take the vehicle I'm driving out whenever I want, but need to make absolutely sure the trip is necessary. Confining and restrictive to say the least, but probably not the worst experience for me either. Onward, upward, and forward today.  

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