Woke up at two something and could not fall back asleep. My sinuses hurt, my back was sore, and my ankle was wobbly. Touched your face. I finally fell back asleep and woke up from a dream where I was calling in sick. Then I really did tell my job I wouldn't be in, and tried to go back to bed. Sometime later my friend called and I wasn't actually sleeping so I picked up my phone. She seemed to be in a mood and I felt bad for her (she recently came back from a trip to see her parents). Midnight hour in my apartment. My potential new boss had asked me to send an email giving him dates and times when I could meet. I did so, and then called when I hadn't heard from anyone in case my email hadn't gone through. I dropped off a pay stub to see if I would qualify for the new place. As it stands right now, I'm $100 short. I was told they would get back to me, and haven't yet.
Tonight was my hair appointment with the stylist I just love. We agreed to do a start over haircut and now I feel like crying because all of my hard work growing out my hair is gone. However I now have something that actually resembles a style and she thinks it's cute. My cut was free so I tipped her much better than I normally would since she shouldn't suffer because other people can't cut hair properly. We know I have a difficult head to work with, but these people are supposedly experts and should be able to do more with my collection of cowlicks. We talked about the job market, men, she said she's gradually been trusting men more (her ex cheated on her numerous times), and she's been braver and bolder since they broke up last July. She told me she wants to buy super sexy silky pajamas just for herself and I encouraged her to go for it. They are always for you, if someone else enjoys them, that's just icing on the gluten free cake.
I asked about her plans for the summer and learned she wants to attend a music festival with good friends. She'll be visiting her grandparents in Michigan and for a second I was sad that none of mine are still alive. We had a great conversation and I'm so happy she's a part of my life again. I had a dream and saw your face. She commented on my pedicure and I gave her the name of the woman who was so amazing. Come back to me. While we were talking about men and relationships I told her some of what was going on in my personal life. I am your believer. I've been texting this guy since late March or early April. I know we were chatting when I worked at Miller Park, but I can't remember the exact date which I guess is fine. My point was that we have known each other long enough to do the phone call thing, but I was hesitant until she encouraged me to go for it.
On my way out of town I drove past the house where I used to live. There was a ton of junk in the garage and I had to stop myself from parking in the drive, marching up to their door, and telling them not to make the same mistakes we did. The urge passed, and I stopped at the gas station where I bought some Swedish Fish because it's not a road trip until you've eaten at least one unhealthy item. I have to admit that I was disappointed when my call went to voicemail, but I tried to be casual about it. Some people don't like talking on the phone. Some guys don't want more of a relationship. Fortunately he sent me a text saying that he couldn't talk because he was at work getting ready for his next flight. Just hearing his voice was nice. It was deeper and sexier than I had imagined and now his texts sound different to me.
Probably the most interesting thing I did today was mess around with some of my characters. Brad desperately wants another child and convinces his wife to agree to one last baby despite the fact that they are 50 and 47. He promises to retire and then makes no real effort to do so, meanwhile his son gets married and impregnates his wife on their honeymoon. It's a complicated pregnancy and she is advised to refrain from further attempts. Lana suggests offering their baby to her nephew and his wife, and Brad is so stunned he doesn't know what to day. He's been riding the emotional high since he learned she had successfully conceived. He simultaneously feels as if his world is crumbling, and humbled that she is thinking of a unique gift for his son and daughter-in-law. I haven't decided if this actually happens, I just thought it was fun to write and I hope my readers enjoy the plot twist.
My mom and I patched things up and I'm glad I went over to her place even though it was frustrating yesterday. I am not looking forward to going to work tomorrow which is probably why I'm staying up later than I should to write this. I want my new job so badly I almost drove there even though there was no reason for me to haunt their doorstep. I know this industry. I can help people. I can start from a dream that seems out of reach and work with people and their habits and behaviors to build real wealth and to understand what money does, and what it can never do. And the bells are ringing. It was an interesting day to say the least. I'm so happy to be where I'm at right now. A Twitter friend of mine linked to a fantastic article on money and investing that really helped. I sent it to several friends and emailed it to myself for future reference.
I have - cash in the bank, more than one job offer, I bought myself some planters so I can put plants around the perimeter of my place, I bought groceries and treated myself to a long drive for no reason other than to stare at the clouds and build my castles in the sky. There are still challenges ahead, but a friend of mine told me I need less and less help from others. I didn't realize that about myself, but I guess that's why I have those types of people in my life. From the look on her face my stylist was shocked to learn that I'm sixteen years older than the guy that I've been texting, but it's like I tell everyone who wants to know, if he doesn't care, and I don't, why does anyone else? We communicate on deep and superficial levels, we're honest with each other, we make an effort to improve ourselves, we work hard, we encourage and support each other, and we haven't gotten into a fight yet. Who knows where it might be going, but for now, I'm really happy.
Xoxo,
J
P.S. I'm really glad I just did things today. Took a lot of my worry away. Also, I seem to need a calcium and magnesium boost to get anything close to a reasonable amount of sleep and I was able to talk myself out of a spending spree because I wanted to listen to my friend more than I wanted to shop. I still want to get things organized and more streamlined around here, but I also need to let go of some of the perfection. That's my enemy, but it can be useful as well.
j