display | more...

Having been down the aisle twice and failing miserably in my both attempts at marital bliss and with seemingly no prospects on the horizon, I find myself listening to this Tom Waits tune in a somewhat different light. Don’t get me wrong. Every now and then I catch myself pondering the possibilities of finding that one true love that seems to have thus far escaped me and dancing to this tune in a circle of light surrounded by my friends and family. Maybe it’s true what they say, that “hope springs eternal”.

I’m not holding my breath though.

Lazy trip to heaven on the wings of your love
Banana moon is shining in the sky,
Feel like I'm in heaven when you're with me
Know that I'm in heaven when you smile,
Though we're stuck here on the ground,
I got something that I've found
And it's you.

So I guess I wind up with my kid as some kind of substitute. When I hear this song, I substitute the love that adults feel for each other for that of a love between a father and his daughter. (Perverts and wise asses please leave now.)

What can I say, it works for me.

See, after Divorce II, the sequel, I was pretty much a walking train wreck. Living mostly off beer, cigarettes and the kindness of strangers for few years, I finally was able to pull myself out of the gutter and stop feeling sorry for myself. Most of my friends had had it with me and the few who stuck around and managed to smack some sense into me made me focus on bringing up my kid the best way I could. They said it would take my mind off of “the troubles”.

I never knew just how right they were. Everything that I learned to do best was right there in front of me, just waiting for me to come to my senses.

And I don't have to take no trip to outer space
All I have to do is look at your face,
And before I know it, I'm in orbit around you
Thanking my lucky stars that I've found you,
When I see your constellation,
honey, you're my inspiration,
and it's you.

Lord knows I’ve been lost and lonely before but when certain events conspire to get you thinking about your own mortality in a serious kind of way, well, let’s just say having someone around that depends on you makes it pretty hard to give up the ghost. You think about all kinds of stupid stuff and all the things you think you’ll miss and you begin to get some fight back in to you. All is not lost and even the aging lion can still roar at the top his lungs every now and then and make the other jungle animals sit up and take notice..

And then you realize, you weren’t doing any of that stuff for yourself or doing it out of any sense of gratitude and that there is a thing called “unconditional love” and that you’ve been lucky enough to feel it and be a part of it.

You're my north star when I'm lost and feeling blue,
The sun is breaking through the clouds
don't you, don't you know it's true?
Honey, all the other stars seem dim around you
Thanking my lucky stars that I've found you,
When I see your smiling face, honey,
I know nothing ever going to take your place,
and it's you.

So no, the way things are going, I’ll never get the chance to dance to this song with the woman of my dreams but I won’t shed a tear though. Maybe, when she gets older and falls in love, she’ll dance to this song with the same intentions I used to have when I first heard it.

And maybe I’ll be lucky enough to see it.

And it's you, and it's you,
and it's you, and it's you, and it's you
And it's you, and it's you

And that’s good enough for me.

Shoo-be-doo, ba-da-da.

Pending CST Approval

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.