Absolutely true story:
Jesus walks into a bar.
With sweat streaming down his face, and soot baked into his hair, his appearance would usually result in a customer being shown the door, but here the barman barely glances up. Unperturbed, Jesus heads straight for a prominent stool in front of the steward. He begins to talk.
Jesus holds forth on his most recent life story: the agony of conscious reincarnation, the implications of re-birth as a child into a world with vivid, searing memories of an earlier death by torture. He talks about his childhood, his relationship with his family, and being tested over 40 days in the desert. Messiah-hood is not so easy.
It's only after he knocks back his third double whisky that he finally makes firm contact with his oceanic-blue eyes and asks the barman a straight question. As he speaks there are raucous noises from the streets of London outside - are those screams? - but he is unruffled.
"Today's Wednesday, yeah? Wednesday the 9th?"
The barman, called Beel or Bill by the regulars, and My Lord by his grotesque underlings, replies.
"Nope, today is Sunday the 13th. It's been a very busy week."
As a figure in a hooded cloak with a scythe wanders up to the bar and orders four beers, Jesus says:
"Shit man... Dad is going to murder me".
Excuse me if you've read this before. With DonJaime's wonderful improvements to Node Heaven I've been digging around in mine. Seeing what can be got up to spec with some subtle revisions... This one deserved a rebirth - I suggest you guys try similar.