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AKA "The Sweeper."

Agent of the Monks of History, from the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett, the Men in Saffron. Renowned in the organization as its most productive and achieved agents, also quite good at keeping the place tidy. Lu-tze is known by all students of the Monastery as one of the most supreme fighters in its existence, knowledgable in martial arts such as Upsi-daisi and No-kando and rumored to be a master in Deja-fu. After 800 years of service in the Monastery, he is probably the second most skilled monk in existence.

The reason for his fame and success is that Lu-tze is not a holy man, unlike many of his fellow agents, and seeks no formal enlightenment. The origins of his philosophy were in his training as a sweeper in the home of Mrs. Cosmopilite. The moment he first saw her, he was awed by her innate knowledge of the teachings of Wen the Eternally Surprised, because at that moment she said, "I haven't got all day, you know." In the three months he worked for her he learned the way of Mrs. Cosmopilite.(Hint: it's all in the wrist) He compiled her teachings into a book which he keeps with him at all times. For is it not written, "I wasn't born yesterday!"

In Thief of Time Lu-tze is the enigmatic master of Lobsang Ludd, imparting on the young man the wisdom of Mrs. Cosmopilite and his considerable experience with temporal problems and how they should be beaten up. In Night Watch he is the agent sent to make sure a confused and angry Sir Samuel Vimes carries out his mentor's part in the Treacle Mine Road Revolution.

Memorable quotes include the Rules for survival in the Oi Dong dojo:

"Rule One: Do not act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling man."
"Rule Two: Never refuse a weapon."
"Rule Three: When holding deadly weapon and facing an unarmed man in a pose of submission, be very, very afraid.(See Rule One)"
"Rule 27: Always remember the First Rule!!"

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