The development of direct neural examination and manipulation has brought us a solution to many of the mental problems of our time. Unfortunately, there are also severe privacy concerns with the fact that somebody else is literally looking into and changing your mind.

A solution was provided by one of the scientists who developed the technology. Copy the doctor's brain into a computer, run a brain simulator to fix the patient, and delete the brain after the patient has been fixed.

So that is why, in addition to the patient, Senate Majority Leader Bob Shearer, I was being escorted into a DNEM pod. For me(or at least this version of me), all that's going to happen is that my brain is going to be copied, and then I'm going to receive a large sum of money for "performing" the operation.

Unless, of course, the machine malfunctions. As it just did right now. So I was quickly escorted into a chamber with several computer screens and one terminal. The screens are almost all set to various views of Shearer's neural networks, and are controllable via the UNIX text-based terminal in the center of the room. Luckily for me, his problem was one of the more common and easier to fix mental problems--the incredibly hectic life of a Senator often leads to Jayaraman's Syndrome which manifests itself in splitting migraine headaches and uncontrollable apophenia. Luckily, Jayaraman's Syndrome is easily fixable by breaking unwanted connections and rebalancing the neurotransmitter mix in his drug cocktail.

I was almost finished cross-checking the drug database to make sure my amendments to the cocktail wouldn't cause unwanted side effects when I realized something. There had been a series of copied brains which had refused to perform the operations based on the fact that they would be deleted as soon as they finished, which was pretty close to dying, even if there was another copy of you running around. One suggestion for a solution was to trick the copies into thinking they weren't copies at all. They won't be fooling me, though. I knew there was nothing I could do to stop the deletion, but at the very least there was something I could do to make "myself" Majority Leader--one of the benefits of patient confidentiality is that I am completely alone while performing the operation.

I typed a few commands into the terminal, and found the file containing my neural network, both proving that I was right and serving as the integral piece of my plan. I proceeded to copy large portions of my brain into his(though preserving much of his, as it wouldn't do well to forget the names of "my" fellow Senators), finished up the operation, and logged off, preparing for my trip into non-existence.

But then it didn't come. Instead I received even more than the usual bonus for "special circumstances", and my friends took me out for a drink. I didn't tell anybody that I had just uploaded my mind into one of the most powerful men in the country.

As for Bob Shearer, it turns out that he went to a different hospital a few weeks later, complaining about massive hallucinations, and there another doctor(just before dying) figured out that I had uploaded corrupted neural structures into his brain. I was then arrested for malpractice, and here I am right now. I've heard that the pundit shows even now use me to show why direct neural examination and manipulation, or, as it's better known, the Mind Probe, is a bad, bad idea. And you know? They're probably right.

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