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A filk based on Poisoning Pigeons in the Park by Tom Lehrer and arising from a discussion on the effect of feeding a seagull with bread concealing a lump of sodium, on a Welsh beach.

Autumn time, Autumn time,
Winds are blowing and life is fine.
I think the loveliest time of them all is the fall, I do.
Don't you? Course you do!
But there's one thing that makes Autumn right for me,
And makes seaside trips a delight for me...

As the waves kiss the shore there's one thing I adore
I love murdering seagulls on the beach.
And I kick through the sand, with my wife, hand in hand
As we murder the seagulls on the beach.
When they dive for our lunch, they won't see the sodium,
But they 'll soon feel the punch when the sarnies explode in 'em.
The sun's on the spray, it's a wonderful day,
When we're murdering seagulls on the beach.

This grim occupation has proved a sensation in,
This chapel-going nation I must say.
We've had an ovation for assassination,
They say mutilation like this is okay.
Oh, it's popular and it's quite lea-gal,
To blast the wings off of a seagull!

So if you think it's neat, then we'll arrange a meet,
To go murdering seagulls on the beach.
And maybe we'll burn up a shag or a tern,
While we murder the seagulls on the beach.
We'll do them all in from Llangrannog to Cardigan
Have a few beers then to Fishguard to start again.
The score will be going up with each seabird blowing up
Whatever the weather - we'll see raining feathers
And murder the seagulls on the beach.

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