The plan is very simple:
Simply become a latin pop sensation, and then use that fame to get millions of pre-adolescent girls to purchase exorbitant amounts of worthless merchandise and annoying CDs. I shall use the vast and incredible profits to conquer the world, completing my lifelong dream of total world domination.

But, you ask...How do I become a latin pop sensation?!?

At first glance this may seem rather difficult, especially when considering the fact that my ethnic heritage is Irish and Scottish. However, that in no way hinders my potential. I am now in my fourth year of studying the spanish language, the complete sum of my skills being that I can verify that the words spoken by the taco bell chihuahua really are spanish. Therefore, I will sing in spanish, but only one, maybe two, actual sentences will be spanish. Observe my soon to be hit single:
La Salsa perra

Hoye! Mi pantalones llenan con salsa! Los llenan con salsa!
(x30 to a funky carribean beat)

Translated, that is:

The Salsa Slut

Listen! My pants are filled with salsa! They are filled with Salsa!

Actual hispanics will immediatly recognize me as a fraud. This will not be a problem, as my primary target market will be Americans. Before you know it, 13 year old, suburban raised girls will be dying to throw tremendous amounts of money at me, never suspecting a thing, because they still believe taco bell is authentic mexican food. The only other possible problem I can forsee at this point is live television appearances, mainly because I am in no way even remotely hispanic, nor a sex symbol. However, I think that can be easily fixed by using an overclocked tanning booth before any appearances.

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