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New Utrecht H.S. aka New Utter Reck aka Newly Erected Reck aka New Useless, located in the heart of Guido-Land (an area of Brooklyn populated mostly by bigot Italians-see Yusef Hawkins), is the School of High to avoid when applying to a h.s., getting off the 79st stop at the B-line, or crossing the street to get to the sweatshop. Coined by the teachers and faculty as, "The School of Soft Cocks", due to the lack of excitement exhibited by the student body when being stimulated by under-skilled, psuedo-intellectual, egotistical, teachers of the pathological lying persuasion (Mr. Dimentstein, Mr. Stratis), who failed in life, yet seek a source of livelihood that would support their meaningless existence by syphening the energy and talent from the UTE's (students, alumni).

New Utrecht h.s. was also the setting for the sitcom "Welcome Back, Kotter", back in its hayday in the mid-70's.

New Utrecht h.s. appeared in a Saturday Night Live "Welcome Back, Kotter" skit featuring Adanoid Sandler.

Graduates from New Utrecht who made it "BIG": (supposedly) Mr. Furley from Three's Company.

Hotspots (Where the action is): bathrooms, staircases, and the sidewalk. Dimenstein's room-For all the aspiring gays.

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