Dear John,
I apologize for what I said to you last night, you f***ing sociopath, and I hope sincerely that you didn't take it the wrong way which is exactly what you said to me last week after you hit me and threatened to kill me. Surely you knew I meant it teasingly and not as an insult which it was, by the way that your brother's Murcielago which you borrowed to impress your boss and his secretary, who admittedly has great legs must be your way of compensating for something seriously, you asshat, what is that thing between your legs, vermicelli?.
I was even more totally not in the wrong when I said it in front of your boss ,but hey, you have to admit, it's not my fault that he actually laughed!.
I hope you can find it in your heart of hearts to forgive me the way I forgave you for the time you broke my wrist, and we can peacefully make amends and go back to life as usual what the f*** am I saying? I'd rather chug Drano.
All that being said, until I know for sure that things are okay again between us which of course they never are, but can you blame me for wishful thinking?, I'll be staying with my sister out of town. I figure it will give me time to think about our relationship read: lack thereof; abusive; one-sided; take-take-take and no give and how I will need to rethink your my behaviour if I am it is to survive.
I hate you for turning me into a submissive puppet. I hate you for making me your slave and forcing me to smile in public. I hate how you know where to hit now without leaving bruises. I hate the looks the nurses at the E.R. gave me as they started to work on my arm. I hate the way my sister knows I'm lying to her. I hate you. I cannot express the depths to which I hate you. I fully intend to poison you slowly or shoot you at the first opportunity. I hate that you've gotten me too afraid of you to try either of those. I want you to die. I want one of these days for you to hit just hard enough that it kills me, and you spend the rest of your f***ing miserable life tossing salads in a federal prison. How many more times do I have to say I hate you before you will start to get it? How many more times am I going to lie to you and myself and everybody else by saying the three most unforgivable words ever spoken?
I love you.
Please, just think about it, okay?
Thanks again for nothing but misery everything.
Yours Truly,
Jane
PS - I amend. You know what? I'm not coming home any time soon. I'm a human being with rights, and I deserve to have my rights acknowledged and respected. You, on the other hand, deserve to suffer slowly in poverty, die alone, and burn in the deepest pit of Hell for all eternity. Maybe your mommy didn't love you and your daddy was a drunk. I don't f***ing care. I hate you. Get the f*** out of my life.
I miss you, and I can't wait to come home and see you again, John.
PS- I amend this write-up, for any concerned readers: It is (for me at least) a work of fiction; all character and situational resemblances to real life are to be accepted as coincidental.
Also, this is an entry to the Pandeism anagram writeup contest.