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I am counting up my list of posted and not posted things that I have written on everything2 during this latest PANDAS/PANS flare. Most physicians in the US are either unaware of PANS or if aware, don't believe in it. Of those who do, I've met two physicians who not only believe in it but think that it can happen in adults, not just children. One is retired (psychiatry) and the other will probably retire soon (Infectious Disease). Modern slaves, oops, I mean modern primary care doctors in the US, only entertain diagnoses that can be treated in 20 minutes, which would not include PANS. I scorn them.

March 2021: 59 writeups. 22 posted that survived. There were some things I wrote in the past that I posted in March, so this doesn't count the past ones. This also does not include my journal, letters, emails, texts, etc. The flood started on March 15, 2021. I realized it was all happening again and my lungs felt torched on March 20, 2021. Writing helps me to deal with the antibody to dopamine. It's really really overwhelming: brain wired and lungs not working, so I can't burn it off with exercise. Writing works. I also have a long list of draft ideas not written.

April 2021: 69 writeups. None posted. Interesting. The antibodies started really rising March 20, 2021. I took high dose oral antibiotics for ten days. The antibodies then rise for 6-8 weeks and then start going down. So peak is near the end of April or early May.

May 2021: 54 writeups. 8 posted that have survived.

June 2021: 57 writeups. 18 posted survivors.

July 2021: 55 writeups. 27 posted survivors. In about mid-July I wake up one day and the antibodies are back to my normal. Just like that. At least, the neuropsychiatric stuff is gone and I can eat gluten again. My lungs still don't work. I don't know if that antibody persists or if the cells withdraw the receptors after being flooded, or what.

August 2021: Ongoing. Currently on 8/5/21 at 15 writeups. 6 posted including this. Combination of travel, stress and diverticulitis, though this infection does not seem associated with a new rise in the antibodies. Also no white count or fever, but positive CT scan. I think my immune system might be a little tired. Also sleep is currently fine but out of sync. I took a nap the last two days and then want to go to bed by 8:30 two nights ago and last night at 7:30. I am sleeping about 8 hours each day/night. Means I am up at the hour of stupid, but that will correct.

I am not saying that the writeups are all complete (though most of them are) or all good, heh. Lots and lots of poems about what is happening. Ya'll can thank me for not posting all of the poems, heh.

I feel like I've been ironed.

Hope I am wrong about this being something anyone can get if they live long enough, because otherwise you too might someday try being a manic lizard. One piece of evidence: people in their 80s and 90s ALSO do not get a fever or white count with infection. The first thing we check if someone is newly confused is for a urinary tract bacterial infection. And it is often present.

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