PROOFREAD!
or, How to Avoid Looking Like an Incompetent, Uneducated Moron
Proofreading basically involves checking a piece of writing for
errors. The term originated in the world of publishing, in which a
proof is a
draft copy, often one that looks exactly the way
your work will look when
it's in print. Reading the proofs (proofreading)
thus offers writers one last chance to correct their work before the
printer runs off half a million copies and ships them all over the world.
Eventually, the term came to refer to the inspection and correction of any
piece of writing, not just those prepared for publication by a
printer.
Now, everyone makes errors. When you're sitting in front of the
computer at four in the morning, pounding away as fast as you can in an
attempt to get that perfect phrase down before it evaporates from your
mind forever, you're probably not paying excessive attention to grammar or spelling. There's no real need to be anal while you're writing, provided
that you check for mistakes when you're done. You can take several steps
to help discover the errors you've made:
- Use a spell-checker. Theer is no ecxuse for esays
wiht speling erorrs liek tihs. Your spell-checker will identify
such words provided that your misspelling isn't another legitimate English
word (like typing 'whit' for 'with'.) Computers don't speak English,
though, so you shouldn't blindly trust your word processor's
suggestions--you still have to know, for example, that the first word of
that sentence should be "there," not "their." Use
a dictionary to
resolve any disputes.
- Use your word processor's find function to locate
other common errors. Certain vague words--such as thing,
nice, and very--rarely appear in good writing. Search for these words
and replace them with a more precise term. Also search for errors that
you frequently commit: if you know that you overuse the word "however,"
search for it; if you know you often confuse your and
you're, search for both words and confirm that you've used them
correctly.
- Read it aloud. I know--you might feel a little stupid
reading aloud to yourself like a child, but you'll feel a lot dumber when
everybody notices your gaffe. When you're writing quickly, you'll
sometimes leave out nonvital words (particularly articles like
"a" or "an"). If you read your work to yourself, you'll mentally fill in
those words and won't notice that they're not there. If you read it aloud,
on the other hand, those omissions will stand out like crows in
snow; you'll also catch repeated words, misplaced punctuation, and
sentences that are just plain awkward.
- Have someone else read it. Sure, you know
exactly what you're trying to say, but that doesn't mean anybody else will
be able to figure it out. Find some brutally honest friends (everybody
should have at least one) and get them to read your work. They will
easily identify enthymemes, ambiguous phrases, contradictions,
and the like. If they happen to be grammar nazis, they may
also identify lower-level errors.
- Put it aside for a while. Lock the essay in
a drawer for a while, or save the file and don't open it for a week or
two. Then sit down and read it aloud. Sooner or later, you'll
discover a sentence--or even a whole paragraph--that's so bizarre that
you'll rack your brains trying to figure out what drug you were on when
you wrote it. (Everythingians often discover this problem while
node tending.) Revise the paragraph and, if necessary, put it
aside again.
"Pah!" you might say. "Nobody cares about grammar and spelling anyway.
As long as people understand what I'm saying, that's what really
important."
BULLSHIT!
Parable the First:
My father is a founding partner of a law firm in New York. Lots of
young lawyers apply for jobs there, and he reads every single
application the firm receives. He begins evaluating candidates by dividing
their applications into two piles. Pile 1 contains the files of people
whose application contains more than one spelling or grammatical error.
Pile 2 contains the rest.1
Pile 1 goes in the garbage immediately after the form rejection
letters go out.
Pile 2 undergoes further review.
Sound callous? Not really. Think about it: if the person isn't
conscientious enough to proofread when his own ass is on the
line, what's he going to do when he has to write something for someone
else, such as a brief for a client? Besides, even if my father didn't
personally care about grammar and spelling, he'd still have to act the way
he does, because the judges who read briefs care about it quite a
bit.
So careful proofreading may help you get a job somewhere someday.
Parable the Second:
A student applying to my school started his application essay with the
following sentence:
"After much deliberation, I have decided
that Stanford is the graduate school for me."
Great. Very
inspiring. 'Cept this ain't Stanford. His
interview
went something like this:
Interviewer (staring off into space):
"So
you're applying to...Stanford."
Applicant: "Well, actually, yeah.
How did you know?"
Interviewer (smirking): "So tell me what you like
about...Stanford."
Applicant:
"Well...uh...California...weather...Chelsea Clinton...science.
But I really
feel like this place..."
Interviewer (interrupting): "But
why should we admit you if you think Stanford is the best place for
you?"
Applicant: "Wha...what makes you say that?"
Interviewer:"It's the first sentence of your essay."
Applicant: "..."
Interviewer: "Enjoy Stanford."{throws the essay in the
subject's lap and walks out}.
Obviously, if there are errors in this writeup--or any of my writeups--I'd like to know about them. Please /msg me and I'll fix them after punching myself a few times.
1Incidentally, my father judges the state of our educational
system by comparing the size of Pile 1 to Pile 2. When the size of Pile 1
exceeds that of Pile 2, he knows that the educational system fifteen years
previous did not emphasize grammar or spelling. When Pile 2 > Pile 1, he
knows that the reverse was true. Thus, back in the 70's, he received
applications from people who were educated in the 50's and 60's; during
these years, Pile 2 was much higher than Pile 1. In the 80's, he
started receiving applications from people who went to school in the 60's
and 70's; in these years (which he calls the Dark Ages), Pile 2 dwindled
to a handful of files, while Pile 1 overflowed his desk (even though these
guys had the advantage of spell checkers!) The size of Pile 2 increased
slowly throughout the 90's, and now approaches or exceeds the size of Pile 1. So there's been some progress, though perhaps not enough.