I'm still here. In case you were wondering. I never left. I know a lot of people did - but I don't bother to really check most times who is still logging in, who is not. I am though - still here. Almost every day. Maybe I skip a few days in a row at times. I come to check messages. I come to see who is posting. I rarely recognize the usernames among recent posts but - sometimes I do. Is it comforting? I don't even know.

I should change my profile picture, I think, every time I see it. It's so old. I look so young. Then I remember it was only a year ago. Only two years ago. Only four years ago.

I love this place and what it used to be and that it's still here.

We are entering into my favourite season. The smells, the colours, the memories that sort of rip my heart out but also feel good. It is good to feel things. It is good to do something other than work.

I guess my situation isn't unique at all. I know that. I spend too much time working and not enough time living. I am riddled with anxiety that I mask well most of the time but I know - I feel it - eating away at my sanity. Some days are better than others.

Does anyone still edit here? I have so many questions but I don't really need any of the answers.

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