Sweetpea...
Not just a flower any more. Utterances of hardcore business, in addition to mention of squid, goats, and pickles can be heard emanating from Sweetpea's lips. Surrounded by constant clouds of Nag Champa. Wishes to be a Perl gu.ru? Perhaps. Listen carefully for the Legendary Pink Dots rattling around in Sweetpea's brain.
Oooh, third person...