The World's Worst Knock-Knock Jokes.
Originally printed in 1974 and found in a kindergarten classroom, intended to be read to those born in 1998. I don't think so. Some of these jokes are before my time. And I'm old.
Italicized lines are meant to be sung.


KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?

Arthur
Arthur, who?
Arthur any more at home like you?


---


KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Jimmy
Jimmy, who?
Jimmy a little kiss, will ya, huh?


---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Hyman
Hyman, who?
Hyman the mood for love

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Avon
Avon, who?
Avon to be alone

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Boo
Boo, who?
Don't cry, little baby

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Butcher
Butcher, who?
Butcher arms around me honey, hold me tight

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Theresa
Theresa, who?
Theresa....nothing like a dame.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Dishes
Dishes, who?
Dishes the FBI. Open up.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Elba
Elba, who?
Elba down to get you in a taxi, honey.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion, who?
Accordion to the paper, it's gonna rain tonight.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Abie
Abie, who?
...ABIE Cdefg

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Abyssinia
Abyssinia, who?
Abyssinia soon.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Major
Major, who?
Major opn the door, didn't I?

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Evvie
Evvie, who?
Evviething I have is yours.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Manny
Manny, who?
Manny are called but few are chosen.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Wendy
Wendy, who?
...Wendy moon comes over the mountain.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Donna
Donna, who?
Donna sit under the apple tree...

---


KNOCK, KNOCK


Who's there?
Yule
Yule, who?
Yule never know how much I love you...

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Marion
Marion, who?
Marion haste, repent at leisure.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Minnie
Minnie, who?
Minnie brave hearts are asleep in the deep.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Mayer
Mayer, who?
Mayer days be filled with laughter.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Hugh
Hugh, who?
Yoo Hoo yourself.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Hugo
Hugo, who?
Hugo to my head...

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Handsome
Handsome, who?
Handsome pizza to me, please.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Humus
Humus, who?
Humus remember this, a kiss is still a kiss...

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Sony
Sony, who?
Sony...a paper moon

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Ida
Ida, who?
Ida written if I'd known you were away.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Iowa
Iowa, who?
Iowa lot of money on my income tax.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Isabelle
Isabelle, who?
Isabelle ringing? I thought I heard one.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Jamaica
Jamaica, who?
Jamaica passing grade in math?

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Doughnut
Doughnut, who?
Doughnut ask me silly questions.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Dr. Livingstone
Dr. Livingstone, who?
Dr. Livingstone I. Presume.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Dwayne
Dwayne, who?
Dwayne the bathtub. I'm drowning.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Elsie
Elsie, who?
Elsie you later, alligator.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Lil
Lil, who?
Lil things mean a lot.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Madame
Madame, who?
Madame foot is stuck in the door.

---


KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Leica
Leica, who?
Leica bridge over troubled water...


---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Kershew
Kershew, who?
Kershew, Red Baron!

---


Mary: Will you remember me in five years?
John: Yes
Mary: Will you remember me in 10 years?
John: Yes
Mary: Will you remember me in 20 years?
John: Yes
Mary: Knock, knock.
John: Who's there?
Mary: See, you forgot me already!


---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Olive
Olive, who?
Olive my wife, but oh, you kid!

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
O'Shea
O'Shea, who?
O'Shea can you shee by the dawn's early light?...

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Toby
Toby, who?
Toby or not Toby, that is the question.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Sarah
Sarah, who?
Sarah doctor in the house?

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Tuba
Tuba, who?
Tuba toothpaste, please.

---


KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Zebra
Zebra, who?
Zebra is too big for me.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Heather
Heather, who?
Heather, Georgy girl...


---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Ira
Ira, who?
Ira...gret that I have but one like to give for my country.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Watson
Watson, who?
Not much. Watson who with you?

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Annie
Annie, who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better...

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Wayne
Wayne, who?
Waynedrops keep fawling on my head

---


KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Banana
KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Banana
KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Banana
KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?



---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Sam and Janet
Sam and Janet, who?
Sam and Janet evening...

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Thesis
Thesis, who?
Thesis...a recording.

---


KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Anita
Anita, who?
Anita another kiss, baby.


---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Leif
Leif, who?
Leif me alone.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Olaf
Olaf, who?
...Olaf my heart in San Franciso.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Murray
Murray, who?
Murray Christmas to all.

---


KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Philip
Phillip, who?
Phillip me glass, please. I'm thirsty.

---

KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Pizza
Pizza, who?
Pizza on earth, good will to men.


---


KNOCK, KNOCK
Who's there?
Atch
Atch, who?
...Gesundheit!


---


KNOCK, KNOCK


Who's there?
Thad
Thad, who?
Thad's all folks!
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