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No, not another poem.

Back to science, the refuge of the autistic and the persecuted.

What does my elevated heart rate mean? In one log or other I posted that it is at 100 lying down and bounces up to 120-130 when I walk. And that is walking very slowly. When it feels bad I crawl up the stairs like a slow motion lizard.

If the PANDAS antibodies bind at the adrenalin receptor, then I would say that they “turn the key” -- that is, adrenalin is released. So it’s like being on adrenalin continuously or like being on methamphetamines or ADHD medicine. ADHD medicine might actually help. However, I do three things to try to contain my heart rate.

1. Meditative breathing. I did zen Buddhist meditation daily for about three years, end of college. Really slow the breathing down. A slow eight counts in and a slow eight counts out. Shouldn’t talk much, which means I pretty much should be alone. Can’t sing which is a real bastard. I can always sing in my head.

2. Walk very very slowly. With the controlled breathing. Control, control, control.

3. Stay emotionally calm. Oh, yeah, with a continuous high alert, full alarm on, totally crazy amount of adrenalin like PANDA antibodies. I try to distinguish between PANDAS paranoia and things to genuinely worry about. Good that my world is so peaceful, honest and kind.

And what could it do, you ask?

Well, if the heart is too fast too long, a heart attack, of course. Sudden death. Also broken heart syndrome, so avoid that. Also if the heart fails, there can be clots in the intestines, kidneys, brain, lungs.

So I think I might try to take it easy for now.

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