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bits and pieces of.. conversation and i am just left wondering what happened, always, what happened. it's a blur, the last ten years.

"Hey.. thanks for calling me."
       "uh.. yeah, hey, that was seriously bad of me but
        i've been busy or something and i meant to call
        you yesterday, i remembered.. well we were 
        supposed to get together and shit."

     "s'fine with me if you don't want your birthday
      present.. ha."
                             "yeah, dude seriously,
                              i've just been off in
                                    alternate universe 
                              or something. i was working

"yeah, well i go to Ridgetown
september fourth.."
                    "how far is that from here?"

"like, three and a half hours.."  "shit.. we have to get
                                   together before you  
                                   leave, at least once."
"yeah.. a minimum of once."

               "what are your hours next week?"

"dunno.. i've been working since 8 this morning
 i should probably get back to work."
          "yeah. (i felt like mentioning that
                   most of my friends with jobs do
                     even less work than me, and i've
                       been unemployed for some time...)"

"well what are you doing this weekend?" 
                   "family reunion. yeehaw at my house."

"ha.."       "sunday getting ready for the fair."

        "cool.. when is that?" "19th.." "i'm so there."

"yeah you better be, i'm showing my calf.
 i haven't been working with her at all.."

       "i'll have to go watch the cows run around then. 
        so what about next week?"         

                                         "i'll be spending
                                           all the time i
                                           have off work 
                                            with my cow."

"so i'll come watch you play with your cow."

           "awesome."      "i'll observe."

"yeah. cool.. you can come monday night and we'll bring
 you home tuesday morning when i go into work.
 you can watch me get all dirty."
            "sounds good. can't wait to watch your cow."

"yeah.. i gotta get back to work.. so
 i'll talk to you later?" 

"see ya."        "bye bye."

Oh the horror as I realize the side of my face, it is numb and.. you're leaving, everyone's leaving. Even you. Going to college. Just like that? Why is it so easy for everyone else? You said you didn't really want to go, didn't want to leave your friends. Getting tired of the family.. me too I said, me too. I still miss you, even though we're so different now. Funny how things go like that. Kill time before it kills you.

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