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At one time or another things just sort of
got out of hand. I was doing well for a time
but then, everything left me or perhaps I
left it. Regardless I was no longer an active
Participant
, only an outsider that felt
somehow at fault for everything.

Perhaps this is pure self indulgence but
if it is then I don't give a damn. I'm
tired of this. This constant war of self.
This constant need to define myself through
other people
, and the dissapointment found
when I (yet again) fail at doing so.

Then , if you listen long and hard enough
you can do more than just hear it, you can
just feel it slip away.

the worst part is, if you think and you
and you look back you slowly come to realize
that not only did you hand them the key
to the door, but also the gun and ammunition
to shoot you with. The fools like me that trust
invariably regret it, for no good deed,
Goes unpunished in this great world.

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