Track 7 on the album Long Dim Road by The Tossers, a punk band made up of transplanted Irishmen now living on the South Side of Chicago. This song is my favorite on the album, with the lead vocals full of rage and a playful tin whistle part that dances around and seems to be mocking the police.
This song is best heard live with the whole crowd singing along, with one show in particular standing out in my mind. The Tossers usually play all-ages shows, and during the one I was at one of the opening acts ending up going over their time. This resulted in the Tossers not taking the stage until very late. Some Chicago police officers came in and started questioning and annoying audience members under the pretense of checking ID’s for curfew violators. The band, seeing their audience being hassled by the cops, actually stopped the song they were in the middle of playing, and started playing “Altercations.” Pretty soon everyone was chanting along with the lyrics “Fuck the police.” It was great fun, but knowing Chicago I was surprised we weren’t all arrested.
He stopped and asked me who I was
And what exactly that I does
Well, he hadn’t seen me round before
and it was all because
Watched as officer friendly turned into a mothra-type archenemy
“What an interesting style of dress” he says
What a bampot, what a goon
Now I’m sitting here again in jail with all my friends
My 5th time in this nick, the only one cop that’s
ever been nice
I was collected here for loitering
I was waiting for a ride – I didn’t do nothing
It might have been fun – but I didn’t have a video camera at the time
Terminal officer friendly, officer Jeckyll and officer Hyde
The thought is completely barmy,
When the chief is on the telly and he cries
“No don’t be afraid of us, no we’re not out to get you, sus”
“To serve and protect, where for we employ community crime control”
But they’re out to friggin’ nick you
Because that’s their fuckin’ job
They just forgot they’re dealing with people
instead of shaking criminal slobs
Take pride in your job, don’t be ashamed
They’ll serve and protect too
Instead of playing cops and robbers
Their itchy fingers want an excuse
I’ve always gotten collected for silly menial crap collected
There’s quotas to be made
I gotta watch people get hurt when they get hit
There is violence on the street
It would make you sick if it was shown
But forget it when they glorify these cops on TV shows
In the case of Jeremiah Mearday
In the case of Bobby Sands
Go to the library if you don’t believe, and look all this crap up
“Be truthful in this statement”
“Your friend, he told us everything”
“Be careful not to drop the soap you sissy”
Wait a minute, there was no one else with me at the time
People become complacent
They’ll stick to anything exciting
They stay in a situation
It’s safe and fun, it’s all they know
Well you have to study laws mate
It’s a republic, so deal with it
There is two-sides to your job
If you’re going to do it half-ass
Don’t fucking do it at all!
But they’re out to friggin’ nick you
Because that’s their fuckin’ job
They just forgot they’re dealing with people
instead of shaking criminal slobs
Take pride in your job, don’t be ashamed
Yes, serve and protect too
Instead of playing cops and robbers
Their itchy fingers want an excuse
Well, I say fuck the police
fuck the police
I say fuck the police
fuck the police
And I say fuck the police
fuck the police
Well, I say fuck the police
I say fuck the police
FUCK ‘EM
The Tossers have been contacted in order to secure copyright permission for this song.