Someone decided this world should be jampacked with ooey-gooey love songs, but it wasn't you. It's a great time to be alive and alone. You make your own decisions. You own a cat. It's Saturday night so pick a flick to watch, something recent and decent. But first, the menu.

  • microwave popcorn
  • diet cola
  • bachelorette cake
Yeah, I said microwave popcorn. Relax, so what if they say it contains toxins or whatever; you don't eat it often, it won't kill you. Same goes for the cola, aspartame shmaspartame!

Bachelorette cake*

  • 1/2 cup soy milk, oat milk, or rice milk
  • 1/2 cup self-rising flour
  • 1/2 tbsp soy butter
  • 1/4 cup sucralose (or your preferred alternative sweetener as measured to equal the sweetness factor of 1/2 cup sugar)
  • 1/8 tsp salt
  • 3 tbsp cocoa powder
  • 1 egg

Supplies: 2 average cereal bowls ~ 20-24 fl oz capacity; measuring spoons and cups; microwave; a fork and a spoon.
Measure and combine flour, sucralose, cocoa, and salt evenly with a fork in the first bowl.
Heat butter in the second bowl in the microwave at low power (20% for average types of microwaves) for 1-2 minutes or until melted. Swirl the butter around to coat the inside of bowl.
Crack the egg over the bowl but keep the yolk inside the shell whilst draining the white into the bowl. Keep the yolk in a 1/2 -cup measuring cup.
Whip the egg white for 2 minutes.
Add the yolk and milk and beat until yolk is liquified and well-mixed.
Gradually pour the milk+egg+butter mixture in to the first bowl of flour+cocoa+sugar. Mix with a fork until smooth and creamy. Taste it to make sure it is sweet enough and add additional sweetener if necessary.
Microwave the bowl of batter on 50% power for 10 minutes.
Microwave the popcorn. Not too long!
Now it's time to enjoy the evening's entertainment. As in the old days, the main feature is preceded by a cartoon.
Short subject: Cowboy Bebop episode 2
Main feature, something recent and decent: Deadfall starring Olivia Wilde, Sissy Spacek, Eric Bana and more favorites
Second feature: Fringe season 5 episode 5.
Five by five, baby.

*one need not be female or single to make and enjoy bachelorette foods.

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