cart skating

Aaaah! This does not feel safe. Oh sweet Jesus I’m going to die, it’s too fast! There’s no way I can bail out now, that’s probably more dangerous. OhCrap OhCrap OhCrap OhCrap OhCrap. CRASH!

*silence*

Ow…

Cart Skating, also known as trolley surfing, is the action of standing in a shopping trolley (cart for you Americans) and getting someone to push you around, preferably at high speeds.

Standing in a shopping trolley which has no sense of directional movement beyond that which the fools pushing it have is not safe. It definitely does not feel safe, it feels scary. Regardless of your superb martial arts tai-chi perfect balance, you will feel as if you are going to fall over at all times, thus beating your poor vulnerable head against the floor in a permanently damaging way (involving lots of blood).

This is definitely not the recommended use for the trolley and will usually damage it within a short time, especially when doing jumps. Jumps will also usually damage the ‘surfer’. It is also illegal and may result in you being arrested by the police.

However if you still want to do this here are some tips I have picked up through a few misguided attempts at this particular sport.

• Try to get more than one person to push you. It makes for better stability and faster speeds.

• Use one of the special shallow trolleys if at all possible. You will need the extra escape room if it looks like you are going to break some bones.
• Jumps hurt and you won’t make it 90% of the time. I had my ‘friends’ push me off a launch ramp at the local skate park and promptly landed on my back on the trolley resulting in being unable to move my shoulder properly and a very large bruise.
• Crashing into other trolley surfers is not recommended unless you are trolley jousting, but that’s another sport entirely.

_{Disclaimer: I accept no responsibility for you getting arrested or hospitalised doing something as stupid as this. Wear a helmet!}