was it in the cards all along?
what's the difference anyway
here I am
my angels, my devils
half on the mainline
fair and meek
half on the sidetrack
tense and confrontational
I can see my talents
but I can't do anything about
the luck of the draw
maybe I become
hungry for power
thirsty for blood
maybe I don't
but any way,
what's in the cards?
do I find the
inspiration
to chase my little dream
or do I drown in the anxieties
money attention privacy self worth
worrying won't do anything
to lessen the burdens of life,
I know
it's hard to cope with it, but
there's just so much
that's out of our hands
have you
lived up to ALL the standards
against
which you've judged others?
anyway...
maybe the worst of myself
is behind me
and I can find the room to bloom
but I fear
that I'll never escape the emptiness
which I have to accept with grace
just another one of those things
that's out of my hands
John taught me
to thaw a heart with
tender mercy
and I
won't forget, but still,
what's the difference?
"What's a game of
chance to you
To him is one
of real skill"
any way,
any way it comes,
it comes anyway
anyway...
June, 2021, edited frequently
lyrics including the title of this piece - Elliott Smith