Hessian

Term for Teutonic mercenaries, they gained a pretty decent reputation as formidable German killing machines. However, Hessian mercenaries, at least to my knowledge, have fallen somewhat into disuse...

What happens when you combine 11 love-struck metal d00dz, one bikini-clad, tattooed nymph, and a fake personal ad? You get Hessian Love.

The pranksters responsible for this web page posted a personal ad on Love@AOL.com for a female metal-head, even including a picture of her in a Confederate flag bikini. She claimed to look like Lita Ford and even exclaimed, "i get crazy when i'm drunk!" (sic).

As you might imagine, love-struck Ozzy fans from across the country wrote in, trying to turn "Metalchick's" head. Here's a sample:

I'm a metal dude with long hair and tats who loves to party at all hour of the night. i am 6'4'' 210# long (to my ass) hair, played in sf bands for 13 years. i have 5 ozzy tats and 2 dio tats. what can i say, i luv sabbath. new in la , saw your add for more info and photo pleez wright back. we need to hook up and get shitfaced. did i mention i'm hung like tommy lee?

It just goes to show that music hath charms to soothe the savage beast.

http://www.buddyhead.com/other/hessian/love/page/

The hessian H of a n-variable function f is a n by n matrix whose (i,j)-th entry is the second order partial derivative:

            2
           d 
H(i,j) = ------ f(x ,x ,...,x )
         dx dx     1  2      n
           i  j

The hessian is symmetric only if the corresponding partial derivatives are continuous. If it is the case, one can gain insight into the behavior of f at a given point a=(a1,a2,...) by computing the determinant of its hessian. For example, if the determinant of the hessian is negative, then a is a saddle point of f. The hessian was introduced by german mathematician Ludwig Otto Hesse in 1842.

See also Jacobian matrix.

Hes"sian (?), a.

Of or relating to Hesse, in Germany, or to the Hessians.

Hessian boots, or Hessians, boot of a kind worn in England, in the early part of the nineteenth century, tasseled in front. Thackeray. -- Hessian cloth, or Hessians, a coarse hempen cloth for sacking. -- Hessian crucible. See under Crucible. -- Hessian fly Zool., a small dipterous fly or midge (Cecidomyia destructor). Its larvae live between the base of the lower leaves and the stalk of wheat, and are very destructive to young wheat; -- so called from the erroneous idea that it was brought into America by the Hessian troops, during the Revolution.

 

© Webster 1913.

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Hes"sian, n.

1.

A native or inhabitant of Hesse.

2.

A mercenary or venal person.

[U. S.]

This use is a relic of the patriot hatred of the Hessian mercenaries who served with the British troops in the Revolutionary War.

3. pl.

See Hessian boots and cloth, under Hessian, a.

 

© Webster 1913.